The Barbies and the Bees

First, let's start with the Barbies. My Couscous wants one for Christmas. Not unusual for little girls. But I am not the usual mama. I have an anti-Barbie mentality. The kids have worn me down a little. They do have Barbie scooters (better than the Bratz alternative), a Barbie Magnadoodle, watch Barbie movies and sing Barbie songs. I like the personality characteristics Barbie shows in her movies. But I can't get past the Barbie DOLL. It's the whole triple D bust, 14" waist, Amazon length legs. I just hate having that be the model my little girl has for what a beautiful woman looks like. It's so unrealistic! And so non-age-appropriate. I try to guide my Avandra to read books that are about kids her age. I'd like Couscous to play with dolls that look like kids her age. And maybe I was just a naughty little girl, but I remember "acting out" some TV love scenes with Barbie and Ken. We have a big enough problem these days with girls and women thinking their bodies have to look a certain (sexualized) way. I get so sick of the ads about plastic surgery to "tighten" this or "augment" that. I hate that I see padded bras in the girls' section in the department stores. I love the focus on what our bodies can DO, rather than what they look like. When Couscous complained about her hair today (which most people agree is absolutely gorgeous), I asked her Who gave it to her. Why are we so ungrateful about how God has created us? When I give someone a gift, it disappoints me if they don't like it. I'm sure God feels the same way when we are dissatisfied with the gift of our bodies and we feel we can "improve" upon how he made us. I remember a discussion in high school seminary class about resurrection and how we would be resurrected into a perfect state. I remember hoping against hope that my perfect resurrection would include long legs! I think I understand now that our definition of beauty is mostly drawn by our culture. There will be no long legs for me, because long legs won't matter. Nor will we care about big busts or skinny thighs. The resurrection will make us perfect in what our bodies can DO, because we are already beautiful in how we LOOK. We just have to reject the false beauty template society has shoved down our throats.

Now for the Bees. I need to give a little background on this. My dear Mom was one of those who sat my 12-year old self down for "THE TALK". I was horribly embarrassed, covered my ears, closed my eyes, and ran from the room. I think she ended up just handing me a book later. I promised myself that I would never do that to my children. So the way I deal with it is that I always answer my children's questions honestly and clearly. When my kids ask about body parts, I tell them their true names. When my toddler got into the feminine hygiene products and my girls asked what they were for, I told them. I don't tell them more than they ask for, but I always answer their questions. Having family members in the healthcare field has also brought some interesting body books into our home, and since Avandra loves to read and loves science, she probably knows more than most children her age. I should add, she knows more facts and fewer societal interpretations. To my knowledge she has never seen any sex scenes on TV or in movies, but she knows that an egg comes from a mom and sperm comes from a dad and that you need both to make a baby. That was as far as she got, but I knew my days were numbered until she came to the next step. Last night was her night:

We were sitting in the dark as I tucked her in and she said, "I love you Mom more than anyone in the world. Well, you and Dad tie."

"That makes sense. (I totally walked into it here:) You wouldn't be here without both of us."

"I know an egg comes from a Mom and that sperm comes from Dad. But how do they get together to make a baby?"

Gulp. Silence. Gratitude for Darkness.

"Well, the Mom and the Dad have to get close enough together for the egg and sperm to touch."

"Do they come up through the mouth when they kiss on the lips?"

(Do you know how much I wanted to say, "YES!" and change the subject? This was a huge test to my decision to always be honest.)

Long Pause. Silence. Prayer in Heart.

"Actually, no. They come from our private parts. That's actually why we don't let other people touch them and why we don't touch them ourselves."

"Why can't we touch our own private parts?"

"God created those parts so we can create other people. He is the Great Creator but He shares with us some of His power. It's a very sacred power so that's how we show respect for that power."

"That means I also need to show you more respect Mom, since you created me."

Whew! She changed the subject herself. But wasn't that a sweet conclusion she came to?

(I'm sure Freud would have a heyday with this post.)