Loving

I never seem to have one-second epiphanies. It seems to take me weeks of various experiences that all come together into an "Aha!" moment:

1. This Thanksgiving was the best I can remember! My sister's family is here, my mom flew in from out of state, and my brother and his family drove into town. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!! Friday night we got together after all the kids were asleep and we laughed so hard that our abs hurt the next day. We laughed so hard that some of us were literally on the floor. We laughed so hard that those of us with poor post-partum bladder control ratings had very close calls. (And to think this was a completely natural high!) With whom else can you be so uninhibited and share so much to laugh at? I am converted. Family is one of God's greatest gifts. Especially when you compare Friday evening with Saturday. Saturday evening is when we found out that our Grandpa had passed on. He had been sick for awhile, and he was 87 years old. But still in some ways he seemed immortal. That man had had how many heart surgeries and come out fighting? But again, to be able to mourn with my family. I felt so much love.

2. I love listening to Christmas music, especially romantic tunes like "Let It Snow." Listening to those songs and seeing the "Twilight" movie make me remember and appreciate young, new love. I remember a certain walk on a snowy January evening that ended up being 5 miles long because we couldn't stop talking with one another. It was the first night we even held hands, and yet I prophetically wrote in my journal that night that I would one day marry that boy. I did.

3. But as wonderful as new love is, I've got to admit that 10-year old love is even better. New love is the "hope". Our love is the beginning of fulfillment. To live with a man who works hard for us each day, does our dishes each night, agonizes and rejoices with me about our children, gives me a safe haven where I can be goofy, loves and respects me so completely, and somehow thinks I'm still hot after having 3 children! I couldn't ask for more.

4. Although then I think about my Grandpa and Grandma. Grandma has had dementia for about a decade and my Grandpa had taken care of her in their home. Although physically aged and emotionally tired, he would not hear of putting her in a care center. My uncle cared for her too, but there was no hired help. Grandpa was her ears and her eyes, her cues, and her warm body of comfort. Many years ago my Grandpa wrote in poem:

I count as blessings in my life
A family and a loving wife....
Throughout the years our lives have grown
Impossible to view alone;
But twined together as a vine
All closer grown with passing time.

From each to each we freely give
And freely take, and though we live
In threatening world--we still can see
Our love transcend adversity.
If such great blessings should depart
And I be left with aching heart,
If fault be mine, let it be such:
I loved not little, but too much.

Grandpa loved much, and his happy countenance and quiet sacrifice day in and day out showed it.

I couldn't make it to the funeral, but I heard how my Grandma reacted. She is not lucid at all, but she seemed to realize something was going on. During the viewing she said to my sister, "I'm crying, I'm crying," but no tears could escape. When I heard that I cried for her. My sister responded to my Grandmother who cannot see, cannot hear, and cannot understand, by putting her warm hands on Grandma's face. Grandma closed her eyes as if the touch was pleasant.

5. Yesterday I saw a link to http://www.joytoeveryone.com/ and watched the short movie clip. (YES! Take a moment and go there!) I was awed by the pictures portraying the beauty and dignity of God's children throughout the world. Many of the pictures showed relationships of family love. And I finally reached my epiphany: The world is filled with love! Parents who love children, children who love parents, spouses who love each other, siblings who love each other! My family experience is not unique, but part of a beautiful fabric of love covering the entire earth! A fabric of laughter and sacrifice and sorrow and joy. I guess I'm really slow but I just had no idea! I know that there are many who don't feel that love and I don't want anyone to feel left out! "God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." We are the human family, all of us God's children and we have so much love to give and share with one another. Thanks to all of you who share your love with me. Merry Christmas!! I hope we can find a way to share that love with others. I hope I just shared some of it with you.