I'm back! I have experienced 3 weeks of single-parenthood and it stinks. I'm so glad my hubby's coming back from his long training session! We've missed him tremendously.
One of the only reasons that I survived was because my dear sister Carrie came out to help me. She brought along her own 2 bundles of joyful energy so my house was crazy and fun and Carrie and I were thoroughly exhausted. I don't know how she did it but she washed my dishes, ("Washing dishes is my way to relieve the tension of the day."), she slept on my futon ("Will you take your bed back? I think that the harder futon will be more comfortable for my back."), cooked me delicious meals (involving such glorious combinations as crepes, asparagus, heavy cream, and nutmeg) and folded my laundry. I don't know what I did. But by the end of the day when the kids were finally in bed, we only had enough energy left to stare at each other and to try feebly to find enough functioning brain cells to hold a conversation before we gave up and went to bed at 9:30. Because we knew that at least one of our dear children would be ready to go at the unholy hour of 5:30am.
I think the epitome of our time was during Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. I'm going to share each episode of our Sunday together, as well as some choice ones Carrie had on her own Single-Parent Sunday a few weeks ago. Carrie, remind me if I forgot some, okay?
1. Carrie's 2 1/2 year old starts singing at the top of her lungs during the Sacrament Hymn. Not the words of the hymn, of course, but she's got the volume. Carrie and I accidently make eye contact and have to stifle our laughing while everyone else is getting ready for the sacred ordinance.
2. My 1-year old rapidly crawls under the pew in front of me and then out into the aisle. I quickly grab him before he gets away, but unfortunately I also grab my skirt in the process and flash the entire Bishopric.
3. At the exact same moment my 1-year old and 3 1/2- year old melt down. The only course of action is to tuck one under each arm, football hold style, while my 3 1/2-year old is flailing and kicking her legs. I later got compliments on my style, strength, and skills, and a father familiar with life in the trenches commented on the challenges of going from man-to-man defense to zone-defense.
These next ones all happened in ONE of Carrie's Single-Parent Sundays:
1. As her 2 1/2-year old daughter is eating her snack bag full of crackers, Carrie takes one little piece from the bag and eats it. Her girl starts wailing very loudly, "Mommy, you just ate my crackers!"
2. While the same daughter is coloring, Carrie leans over and whispers,
"Wow, that looks great. Tell me about your picture."
"It's a fish."
"Oh, and what is that?"
At the top of her voice in the silent chapel, "Those are it's nipples!"
[At this point Carrie figures the bishop's taking notes, "She steals from her children, she teaches them questionable words..."]
3. But the grand finale was when her adorable 6-month old was standing on the pew and flirting with the family behind them...until he hurled all over the man's dry-clean-only suit.
One of the only reasons that I survived was because my dear sister Carrie came out to help me. She brought along her own 2 bundles of joyful energy so my house was crazy and fun and Carrie and I were thoroughly exhausted. I don't know how she did it but she washed my dishes, ("Washing dishes is my way to relieve the tension of the day."), she slept on my futon ("Will you take your bed back? I think that the harder futon will be more comfortable for my back."), cooked me delicious meals (involving such glorious combinations as crepes, asparagus, heavy cream, and nutmeg) and folded my laundry. I don't know what I did. But by the end of the day when the kids were finally in bed, we only had enough energy left to stare at each other and to try feebly to find enough functioning brain cells to hold a conversation before we gave up and went to bed at 9:30. Because we knew that at least one of our dear children would be ready to go at the unholy hour of 5:30am.
I think the epitome of our time was during Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. I'm going to share each episode of our Sunday together, as well as some choice ones Carrie had on her own Single-Parent Sunday a few weeks ago. Carrie, remind me if I forgot some, okay?
1. Carrie's 2 1/2 year old starts singing at the top of her lungs during the Sacrament Hymn. Not the words of the hymn, of course, but she's got the volume. Carrie and I accidently make eye contact and have to stifle our laughing while everyone else is getting ready for the sacred ordinance.
2. My 1-year old rapidly crawls under the pew in front of me and then out into the aisle. I quickly grab him before he gets away, but unfortunately I also grab my skirt in the process and flash the entire Bishopric.
3. At the exact same moment my 1-year old and 3 1/2- year old melt down. The only course of action is to tuck one under each arm, football hold style, while my 3 1/2-year old is flailing and kicking her legs. I later got compliments on my style, strength, and skills, and a father familiar with life in the trenches commented on the challenges of going from man-to-man defense to zone-defense.
These next ones all happened in ONE of Carrie's Single-Parent Sundays:
1. As her 2 1/2-year old daughter is eating her snack bag full of crackers, Carrie takes one little piece from the bag and eats it. Her girl starts wailing very loudly, "Mommy, you just ate my crackers!"
2. While the same daughter is coloring, Carrie leans over and whispers,
"Wow, that looks great. Tell me about your picture."
"It's a fish."
"Oh, and what is that?"
At the top of her voice in the silent chapel, "Those are it's nipples!"
[At this point Carrie figures the bishop's taking notes, "She steals from her children, she teaches them questionable words..."]
3. But the grand finale was when her adorable 6-month old was standing on the pew and flirting with the family behind them...until he hurled all over the man's dry-clean-only suit.
5 comments:
Hilarious! It's great you recorded the crazy moments. 3 weeks is too long to be managing without your husband, although how nice of your sister to join you. I'm sure you'll enjoy having your hubby back.
Hey, I manage to have Sunday's like that when I'm NOT a single parent!! Too funny. Definitely something every parent can relate to!!
Gotta love it! Aren't kids great?
We had so much fun with you in STL. Grace keeps talking about Avery and wishing we were all neighbors. I wish we were too.
Oh boy do I hear you! Good job writing down all the Fun details! My DH was just called to be in the singles branch presidency so I'm having those single parent Sundays now. But probably the (now)funniest (then embarrassing) moments happen in the dead silence of the singles sacrament meeting!
And I have to agree, Mimi and A sound like two of a kind!
B
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