***If you feel strongly about supporting Prop 8, we only have 5 more days. "Yes On 8" still needs funding for ads. The "No" campaign is very well funded and are running 2-3 ads for every one that "Yes On 8" can run. Click here for more details.***
I've been thinking a lot about the issue of gay marriage. The battleground of California's Proposition 8 has bled over into other states, as I think we all recognize that it will be a pivotal decision. Between my last post about Obama's stance on this issue, an email conversation with my in-laws, and the visiting teaching lesson being about gender as a characteristic of our eternal nature and purpose, I've been trying to formulate my thoughts clearly. I still want to do it for my own benefit. But if you read nothing else from this post, please read this insightful interview by Elder Dallin H. Oaks on the Lord's view of issues surrounding Same Gender Attraction. It is compassionate, compelling, and clarifying.
I wanted to create a better written post, but time is gone. Californians vote in 6 days. Here's where I'm at so far:
1. A distinction must be made...I can love all of God's children, all my brothers and sisters, without approving of everything they do. God loves me even when I do things that are wrong. I still love my children even when they are making disappointing choices. "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."
2. The Word of God makes clear the Lord's view on marriage and homosexual behavior. Faith in His word makes our defense of His way a no-brainer.
Genesis 2:24--The pattern of marriage is set with the creation of husband and wife
Leviticus 18:22 --The rest of these scriptures indicate clearly the Lord's opinion of homosexual activities. Thankfully He will in His wisdom, justice, and mercy take care of the consequences. This does however enlighten us on His take on the matter.
Leviticus 20:13
Isaiah 3:9 (very interesting viewed in the context of today's world)
Romans 1:26-27
1 Corinthians 6:9
1 Timothy 1:8-10
Family: The Proclamation to the World
3. Comparing gay rights to civil rights is misleading, although it's a seductive method often used to confuse. This issue of gay marriage is about behaviors, not about people.This is about choices, not tendancies. We have the gift of agency. We are not predetermined. We are not simply animals that must act upon whatever urge we may get. We are all given challenges and various tempations. Why or how we got those challenges doesn't matter. Nature vs. Nurture doesn't matter. What matters is what we do with them. It doesn't matter if I inherited my temper or learned it. What matters is how I choose to handle the temptation when something irritates me. I struggle against that temper each day. But in the end, I'm the one who chooses whether I win, or whether my temper wins. And I'm accountable for the outcome. If I yell at my children, they don't say,"It's okay Mom. I know your temper is just who you are." My behavior hurts them, is wrong and it negatively affects our household. Likewise, gay behaviors have negative consequences, and not just for the person doing the acting.
4. The issue of whether or not there should be gay marriage does effect me, my family, our community and our nation. This is not just a matter of "live and let live". I'm not trying to persecute or cause harm. Giving gay marriage legal status is akin to socially condoning gay behavior. The behavior is wrong. Last I checked Heavenly Father doesn't change his commandments to appease His children. Could you imagine if my children voted on whether or not they should be able to run into the street? Should I change my rule based on the popular opinion? If I did, what a foolish parent I would be, for I know that the possible result of death or serious harm continues. Wrong is wrong, regardless of how many people espouse it.
Giving social acceptance to wrong-doing increases the incidence of that behavior. Giving gay marriage legal status ensures that my children will be taught in school that it is an equally acceptable alternative to traditional marriage. Already a first grade class in San Francisco has taken an official fieldtrip to a lesbian wedding. Also here's a link about how Massachusetts parents and worshipers have had their rights removed. The parents aren't even allowed to opt-out of the 5-year old "diversity" training. And can you explain to me why the California Teacher's Association has used 1.3 million dollars to oppose this measure? That I don't understand. story here.
Additionally, can you imagine the identity crisis teens must go through now? It's already a time of confusion and definition. Now they have to ask themselves about their gender orientation too? It's entirely possible that normal emotional intimacy between 2 same gender friends could be confused for romantic intimacy in this world of "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It". I was thinking of a high school acquaintance the other day. He was rather effeminate in voice and action, involved in theater and music. My HS experience didn't involve gay couples walking down the hall and I never had any reason to think he was gay. I was wondering the other day about if he could make it in this current social landscape without the expectation that he be gay. Maybe those effeminate characteristics are somehow linked to gay tendencies, I don't know. But what if he didn't want to act on the gay tendancies? Could he not be gay in this social landscape? I found his blog soon after my wonderings. He's now living with a boyfriend.
The last way gay marriage affects me is because as Elder Oaks explains in his aforementioned treatise, it changes the definition of my marriage.
P.S. I have been thinking about these things for awhile and working on this post for a few days. However, last night 2 different people sent me interesting emails concerning their personal experiences trying to go to the Oakland Temple. In order to get there they had to pass through Prop 8 protesters screaming insults and obsenities. An newspaper reported it here. Of course I feel for the people who must go through that disturbing situation in order to worship. I'm also sorry that the protestors feel so much anger and hurt. I wish that those who protest Prop 8 could understand that it is not a personal attack on them. This isn't bigotry. If people want to live homosexual lives, that's their choice. But we can't socially approve or condone that behavior just to make them feel better about their choices.
Here I am!
2 years ago
9 comments:
Well done H, well done!
Thanks H.! There is a good post on someones blog about this, and an interesting take on the Samuel the Lamanatie picture. I think it's thje post from the 28th of October. Its at:
http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/
Good job, H. I think your comments are well thought out and to the point. There is no hatred or animosity in your opinion, just an honest expression of your beliefs.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, very articulate as always. I am so thankful for the gospel that gives us direction in these confusing times. By the way, LOVE the family pic on the side of your blog page. Absolutely beautiful.
We vote on one here in Florida too, proposition 2 here. It's sort of nice to be somewhere where I can have a voice that matters. They sent around a big thing at church Sunday saying we were to do all in our power to protect marriage as between a man and a woman - same as in California, I'm sure. But one thing I thought was an interesting point was that they said that marriage and sex is for the power of procreation. By condoning gay marriage and that lifestyle, teaching that sex is only for personal gratification - will bring a real down-turn in society. Or something like that. Will lead society down hill. I thought that was an interesting sort of warning.
Your post really hit home! This is, I truly believe, the exact truth. Thank you for saying exactly how I feel.
We in AZ are voting on this same issue.
The bottom line is God has defined marriage to be between a man and a woman. To say otherwise would be mocking God, and that's not something I'm willing to do.
I was referred by Carrie to your post - I'm one of her former roommates. I can't fully respond to your ideas, and I respect the time you've obviously put into considering your position, but I must say as someone who also believes in God I do not agree with your analysis at all. My experience with many Mormons and others who are gay has been eye-opening. SSA does not equate to an anger management issue. Research has shown that social acceptance of gay people does not lead to an increase in gay behavior (nor are children raised by gay couples more likely to be gay). Would you, as a heterosexual, imagine yourself "turning gay" because of some outside pressure? Similarly, people don't "turn" gay because of a social expectation that they do so, any more than you would "turn" gay because people thought you had some "gay" mannerisms. As far as the Bible's take on marriage and homosexuality, many people, including many people of faith, believe that the Bible reflects not only the will of God but the social environments in which events both occurred and were recorded. It is important to remember that scriptures were used to defend slavery, child abuse, preventing access to birth control and access to pain medicine during childbirth. The scriptures have been cited as defenses in the burning of men and women as witches. I believe we find the will of God in our best instincts to respect and love one another with dignity and honor, and in the pangs of conscience many of us feel when we see our fellow brothers and sisters denied the ability to love another -- and be legally protected in that love -- in the same manner as a heterosexual couple.
Thanks for your comments Nicole. It’s nice to have a discussion board.
1. I agree with you that SSA is not the same as anger management, and I was sure that someone would have a problem with that comparison. Many times a simple parable makes things complicated things clearer though. I have not experienced SSA, so I have to compare it to something that I do know-- An impetus that I experience that leads to negative behavior. Apparently we disagree on whether homosexual activity is negative behavior. Someone else had a problem with my comparison by saying that the reason homosexual behavior is more serious than losing one’s temper is because it requires more premeditation. It requires obsessive thinking about it, whereas temper is more spontaneous. So now we have criticisms from both sides.
2. Either we believe the Bible to be the word of God or we do not. There isn’t a whole lot of wiggle room. I do, so that leads to my conclusions. I let the scriptures guide my opinions; I don’t make any effort to twist them to fit my agenda. Believe you me, if the scriptures said homosexual behavior was OK, I’d be fine with it.
3. I would love to get some more information from you about the research studies you are citing. I don’t claim to be an expert in this field at all. Granted, I would look not only at the published findings, but also at methods and who sponsored the study. There just as many activists in NCFR as in any other area. As one who has an advanced degree is social sciences, I’m very aware of how social science research can be used.
4. I don’t think that people “turn gay” as if they were turning on or off a light. However, I do believe that there are periods of time in one’s life where there is a searching and questioning about one’s identity. To me it seems obvious that if homosexual behavior is considered an equally acceptable alternative, that one would ask themselves if they are gay or not. On the other hand, if SSA is not considered socially appropriate, fewer people would ask themselves that question in the first place. I’m sure there are people who would feel SSA regardless of social pressure, but I do believe social pressure makes a difference. I actually can’t think of any issue social pressure doesn’t affect.
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