Contemplating Mama

Permanently (sp?) Signing Off

2010-08-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends, Thanks for reading these past years. You'll notice that I've already deleted the most recent posts. Contemplating Mama is done contemplating online for the forseeable future, but please send me emails to let me know when you are updating your blogs--I'd still like to keep in touch. Take care! -H

Our New Pet, Wally

2009-08-10T05:41:00.001-07:00

We have a new pet in our household! Don't tell our landlord, because that is strictly not okay with him. But considering Wally would live here, regardless, I figure we can skip the permission. It's kind of an accident that he ended up as our pet. It seems that when we neglected to clean our basement playroom for awhile, he found his way into a toy bin. The first time each of the girls saw him, he sent them running upstairs in fits of screaming, refusing to return to the basement until he was gone. I saw him downstairs, but I find him particularly disgusting, so I decided to just ignore him and he'd get himself free--or killed. 4 days later, he's still there. I guess that the inside of the bin is slippery enough that he can't get out, and that he's resiliant enough to not need food. Imagine my surprise when I got home from church yesterday, to hear my kids talk about their pet and wanting to do a search to see what kind of food he needs to survive. The first thing this morning, my kids wanted to go say "good morning" to Wally, and I saw that they have now decorated his bin with a toilet paper house and other play items for him. Anyway, I thought you might want to see Wally:

This really brings to mind that quote

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.

UGH!

Isn't it Ironic?

2009-05-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Our state passed the smoke-free bill, and the Governor is expected to sign it into law. Only problem? They changed it so that it will not go into effect until July 2010! Why the delay??

And since my husband's contract is up in June 2010, if we move, it will be before we can even enjoy the sweet taste of success (or unadulterated food at our favorite restaurants). I've got to admit that Alanis Morissette's song has been going through my head all day long. Okay, I guess this isn't all about me, so congrats to the rest of you folks. Better late than never--right?

It's Always a Good Day to Lobby at the State Capitol--Holding our Breath for Smoke-Free Air

2009-05-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Our state is debating a Statewide Smoke-Free Workplaces bill. And, okay, I didn't actually speak at the Assembly Public Hearing this morning. My sister and I were there mostly to show support for the issue and to become more familiar with how the whole process works. It was nice to see the room so full of supporters of this bill. It made me so grateful to live in a country where everyone has the freedom to share their thoughts and to state their opinion. Obviously I don't agree with everything everyone said, but there were some very valid points made on both sides of the issue.

My take: Our state is facing one of the most important public health issues of our day--and I'm not referring to swine flu. The fact of the matter is that smoking remains the number one preventable cause of death. According to our state's Department of Public Health, over 8,000 people die in our state each year due to tobacco-related causes. We pay over $3 BILLION ANNUALLY in our state in tobacco-related health-care and lost productivity.

Our state is a wonderful place to live, in so many ways. Excellent education, beautiful, and most importantly, WONDERFUL people! But I am not the only who's commented that upon moving here we about died when we went into a restaurant and smoking was still allowed! It felt like I had walked back into a 3rd world country!

One acquaintance mentioned that it should be the business's decision--that government had too much control already. I have to agree that there has been more government intervention lately than I care to see. But this is not a liberal or conservative issue. This is a Public Health Issue. People DIE because of this. And fine, if people want to smoke in their own personal space, I think that is a dumb choice, but it's their choice. What is NOT okay is for innocent people to have to breathe those toxins.

It makes sense for all workers to be protected from unwanted second-hand smoke and to be able to enjoy a long healthy life. If people work in the hospitality sector, especially in today's economic climate, people should not have to choose between food on the table today and good health in the future. Additionally, most workers in the restaurant/entertainment/

hospitality industry cannot afford good health insurance. We all want to lower the cost of healthcare, yet taxpayers are often helping to foot the bill for those whose health has been compromised through smoke exposure.

Interesting Notes from the Hearing:

A young woman spoke of being diagnosed with lung cancer at age 30. Although she never smoked a day in her life, she spent 20 years living with 2 parents who smoked, and another 10 being careless about breathing in second-hand smoke of friends. She and her physician attribute her cancer to second-hand smoke. She spoke about her difficult cancer treatment with 2 young children, and a husband struggling to support her financially and medically.

A tavern owner, unaffiliated with the Tavern League and siding against them in this debate, amused us all by looking around the room and asking where were the 5,000 tavern owners who were concerned about losing their livelihood, and suggesting that if the only thing a bar has going for it is the fact people can smoke there, that they ought to get into a different business anyway. I can't convey nearly as well his entertainment value, but he was great. The room was filled with smiles and laughter, except for a grisly woman sitting near us who slumped in her seat, scowled at everyone and yelled, "Shut up!" Not a happy looking tavern-owner. But at least the baliff didn't hear her, otherwise her day might have gotten even worse.

One young dude owned a huka bar (however you spell it--some kind of special pipe-smoking place), and he was worried about being put out of business because 70% of his business is selling and allowing people to smoke tobacco in his "cool" pipes. He sells softdrinks, but no other food or alcohol item. He was asking for a special exemption. Granted, I don't agree with his line of work. But I can see his point. Smoking IS legal. And I guess anyone who is going into a tobacco-based establishment is going to be accepting of tobacco smoke. I agree, he should have an exemption.

**The latest update I saw, as of 5 hours ago, looks like there have been some serious discussions and some compromises, and I'm very hopeful that it will pass. At this point, taverns will have over a year to comply. Restaurants and other establishments will make the transition 90 days from the bill becoming law. Tobacco stores and bars would be exempt. I think this is all great! I would be super happy with these compromises!! I really hope it passes next week!

Fireproof--2% Cheesy, 98% Great

2009-05-04T19:24:00.001-07:00

Here's an excellent movie to watch with your spouse on your next date-night! Let me know what you think. (Oh, and you might need a few tissues.)

My Neighbor is One Foxy Mama!

2009-04-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

It was so cool, as we were driving home from church on Easter, to see a gorgeous red fox sitting on top of his den. This is just up the street from our house, in perfect view of a main road. I knew that he lived near us; I'd seen him in the distance one early morning a few years ago. The den is so camouflaged though, that even though I pass it multiple times a day, I couldn't pick it out consistently before that Sunday.

Then, a few days later, I saw not only my fox, but also 5 or 6 kits as well! Tumbling and rolling and wrestling, with MAMA fox standing guard. What a celebration of spring! So I've been stalking my fox, keeping my camera in the car in hopes of catching them all in photo. But that mama fox is a good, protective mama. The one time I saw her and a kit out, she saw me stop across the road and hid the kit behind her, before shooing it quickly into the den. She just stared at me, moved farther from the den, and then eventually ran off, I assume to lead me away from her kits. So I'm sorry I don't have the perfect picture of them all scampering about, but here's the gorgeous mama fox, and if you look closely, maybe you can see the tail of the kit behind her tail.

Hooters

2009-04-29T06:10:00.001-07:00

Well, the local P&S is carrying in their magazine section, not only our lovely SI Swimsuit edition (right on eye-level of children), but also a new mag aptly titled "Hooters". I'm sure your imagination is right on the mark. And this month's Vanity Fair, in all it's nudey glory, was right in the check-out lane. ARGH!!

On the up side, I left a note for the manager, with my name and phone number, and he called back. He spoke to my husband and said that they will speak to the magazine rep about a more family-friendly arrangement of the mags they carry. I'm glad he spoke to my husband because it gave T a chance to say, as a grown male, that even adults don't want to see those things.

So, if you shop at my local P&S, will you do me a favor? If the mags are still out, will you also please make a comment to the manager? And if you don't see them, will you give them a big thank you? I think that will help keep things cleaner in the future. Thanks for your help, friends!

Mustache Monday

2009-04-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

So, T was in North Carolina for 7 days with some of his buddies from work. Besides the fact that we at home survived thanks only to the help of my sister--what with a trip to Urgent Care and whatnot--the most memorable feature of this trip was the souvenier my husband brought home with him.
Facial Hair.

All of T's workfriends decided not to shave while they were gone, so that they could all show up at work together for Mustache Monday. This is definitely a new look for T. I can go for a little scruff, and I guess it added a little excitement to our welcome home smootcheroo session since I had to try to kiss him without getting whiskerburn.

So Monday morning came, and all the scruff came off except for the Mexican mustache. I meant to get a picture of that, but unfortunately I had some kind of 24-hour killer bug, so I was out for the count. Actually, one of T's workfriends suggested that I had gotten the swine flu from T's Mexican mustache. Maybe. The mustache looked pretty lethal.

As T & I discussed our different hair situations, I was lamenting to him that Couscous had recently said, "Wow, mommy! You have such pretty sparkly silver highlights!"

He held up our resident scalped doll lying around

and said, "It sure beats the alternative."

Spring Break!!

2009-04-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Life is just so good!

T & I finished our last ballroom dance class last Friday. It is so much fun to dance with my husband!! Mission accomplished! He can lead, I can follow, and we have a blast. We thought that we were dancing as well as the other couples in our class, but then we found out they had taken the Beginner's level 3 times. So as we were leaving and giving our thanks to Lou and Dorothy, I asked if we had passed--if we could move on to the intermediate class next time. Dorothy looked at us and said, "You? Oh, absolutely!" Yay!! Just call us Ginger and Fred! We finished up our evening together watching "Twilight". I saw it in the theater when some girlfriends, but I liked it more this time. I think part of it was because I wasn't judging it against the book, like I did in the theater--I already knew what I was getting this time around, so I could enjoy it for itself. But second of all, it was nice watching it with T. He had promised in advance not to laugh at it. And he admitted to liking it! He even wants to read the book!

We pulled some strings this year and the Easter Bunny agreed to come on Saturday morning instead. The kids woke up to minimal candy in their baskets and a note saying that most of the eggs he hid for us at our cousins. We had such a fun time with the Easter egg hunt at their house; we stayed and played some games, and really enjoyed ourselves on Saturday. That left Sunday with the opportunity to be so much more focused on the true meaning of Easter. We had a wonderful meeting at Church, and that afternoon we had a powerful discussion about Christ's Atonement and Resurrection. I kept getting moved to tears, although that's not too uncommon for me. (My kids ask me to read the children's Friend magazine and keep glancing at me whenever I pause, just see how far I can get into the story before I start tearing up.) We closed out our glorious Easter by having family, friends, and the missionaries over for Easter dinner.

And today my kids and I kicked off Spring Break week by taking a trip around the world. We packed a lunch and went to the museum. We visited South and Central America, Africa, Asia & the Pacific Islands, Autstralia, and even the Artic. Did you know that Pacific Islanders used shark teeth to make their spears? I didn't. After our world travels we enjoyed the butterflies and dinosaurs. Then, tonight, to celebrate the accomlishment of Avandra having finished the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ in her personal reading, we went out to the fun pizza/entertainment place tonight. Thanks to the economic downturn, prices are lower and with coupon in hand we had ourselves a mighty fun time for a very resonable price!

Hope you all had a wonderfully meaningful Easter, and are enjoying life also!

Addictions & 8 Things...

2009-04-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

Hello. My name is Henrietta Hoopenhollar and I am addicted to food.

That's how I feel like I should start this blog post after my lame-o commitment to healthy eating. Actually, my scale tells me my self-restraint has paid 5 lbs in dividends--which puts me at the same weight as when I got married. However, I think my scale is simply error-prone because I've blown off my non-diet for the last 10 days. Truly, I 've been naughty. You don't even want to know how many snickerdoodles I've eaten in the last 2 days --and yes, Megan, I hold you personally responsible for giving me your delicious recipe when I asked you for it! :)

But instead of giving food any more blog space, I guess facebook is going well. I've been enjoying the reconnections, and one of them, (Hi Mami Jo!) has tagged me from her blog. I have never, ever responded to tags, but this time I think I will.

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. gave my younger kids an emergency bath
2. drove my older daughter to school when she missed the bus, because she was reading instead of getting ready for school, while I was giving the younger kids a bath
3. didn't get mad at my daughter, but later we discussed some logical consequences
4. went to playgroup
5. sewed and otherwise problem-solved through my mending pile
6. prepared letters to Pres. Barack Obama for the LIFE Envelope Project (formerly the Red Envelope Project), to affirm the Right to Life
7. sighed with disappointment when the Vermont legislature affirmed the court decision and legalized same-sex marriage--right on the tail of Iowa--Ouch!
8. laughed through Bryan Kest's power yoga with my sister. My legs and shoulders still feel it though so it must have been successful. Namasdai everybody!

8 Favorite TV Shows:

Easy. I don't watch TV. Don't even own one. And everytime we stay with people who do watch TV, we easily recommit to no TV. But I have my own

3 Favorite Time Wasters (I was supposed to do 8, but I guess I lack diversity at how I waste my time):
1. Spending time on the internet
2. Wasteful reading
3. Trying to guess who will receive the new callings with the ward boundary changes. I'm hopelessly bad. Like the time I KNEW who was going to be the new primary president. I was so confident I even told my sister. Imagine my surprise when on Sunday they asked my sister to stand as the new primary president!

8 Wishes (+ 2 to grow an inch):
1. That people wouldn't litter
2. That people wouldn't drive drunk
3. That I could have guarantees that my children will turn out great
4. That my children wouldn't get their worst behaviors from their mother
5. That I had more self-mastery
6. That I could live somewhere that stays between 60-85 degrees, and is sunny 300 days a year, but still green
7. That if I can't get perfect weather, then could I at least have a great big Southern-facing window?
8. That I could stay grounded in faith and activism, while laughing way more often, not taking myself too seriously, and living more spontaneously.
9. That I could write a novel. I tried once, but before I got through the first page my main character told me that my dialogue sucked. A harsh term, but it was true.
10. My true fantasy wish??? That I was flying at top speed in my new blue BMW Z4 convertible, zipping around the curves of Provo Canyon, looking a whole lot like Audrey Hepburn with my hair up, sunglasses on, and driving gloves. There you go guys. That is truly, honestly me.

Contemplating Calories

2009-03-23T11:35:00.001-07:00

You know, a true friend is someone who can tell you what you need to hear in a way that is completely unoffensive. I knew Emily and Becky were true friends when, while talking about their exercise routines, I mentioned that my 4 months of YMCA membership haven't exactly made me the svelte gal I once was, and they kindly hinted that one does have to monitor one's food intake.

Huh. What a concept.

I've been eating as if I was still 17 (or 30, for that matter). But somewhere between ages 32-34 my metabolism started changing, and, my friends, I don't think it's ever coming back.

(Now for those of you who don't see me regularly, it's not like I've gained a ton of weight lately. I'm 10 pounds less than my post-marriage heaviest, but also 10 pounds more than I was post-Couscous. And there has definitely been some continental drift going on, if you get my drift.)

So I tried a new experiment. I didn't want to call it a "diet" because that sounds too restrictive. But I started counting calories. Wow. It's kind of embarrassing how much thoughtless food I was putting in my mouth. So I started keeping track of my calories and fiber I was eating every day. (I took off 4 calories for every gram of fiber I ate. Don't ask for my scientific rationale.) But whether I was calling it a diet or not, those first 3 days were killer. I was hungry all the time. I did start getting into the groove of things though, and I decided to weigh myself once a week at the same time and just watch all of my self-restraint pay off.

I have been finding dinners hard (my recipes don't always give a calorie count), so I stopped counting those calories, and just am really careful during the day, and eat smaller dinner portions than usual. I did cheat for my son's birthday celebration a week ago Sunday, and I did go out for Hibachi last Saturday night without any self-restraint. So maybe those are the reasons, but when I weighed myself Sunday morning (yesterday), instead of seeing the expected results, I had gained 2 pounds!! That just made me so mad that when they passed around Ghirardelli Pecan Pie Chocolate Squares in RS that day, I took one and ate it with a sense of rebellion.

Help! What's going on? True friends, I really need some advice, help, motivation, whatever, because I'm about ready to post this and grab some ice cream! If my self-restraint isn't paying dividends, I may as well enjoy life--and food--passionately. Help!

Move Over, Martha!

2009-03-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

Or Rachel, Paula, Barefoot Kitchen Contessa, or whoever is the latest cooking guru! I am so proud of my own little accomplishment! It's nothing professional, I know, but for me, it's amazing.
I got most of the ideas from http://www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com/train-birthday-cake.html. I used mini-loaf pans for the cars. For the engine I cut down 2 loaves, added a TP tube covered in plastic wrap, and a frosted marshmallow. (If I did it again I would use something bigger than that tube, but smaller than the cans I could find.) The track is made of licorice and KitKats. Crushed grahams for the sawdust and dyed coconut for the grass. I just decided to leave the chocolate cake showing as coal in the coal car. And although my son thought the caboose was a house at first, he was open to my suggestion that it be a caboose :) Happy 2nd Birthday Little Guy!! Glad you loved it. It was fun making it for you.

(I Muffed the Poll--Re-vote Please?) Facebook 101 Needed

2009-03-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends. I just jumped into the world of Facebook, but I have a lot of questions. Since I saw many of you there, maybe you can help me out.

1. What's the point of it? In my limited experience of 12 hours on, I have found 2 benefits.

First, I was able to connect with people that I haven't seen for along time--even grade school aquaintances and people I taught in the MTC. And there is something nice about being able to say, "Hey! In this big old world I still remember you and you still remember me. What's up?" But do relationships ever grow? Or is it just like signing high school yearbooks everyday?

Second, speaking of high school, it was very eye-opening to go through my high school class profiles. Wow! As far as I can tell, there are three groups: those who look like supermodels, those who look greyer/balder/chubbier, and those who chose very discreet pictures so that you can't see them clearly. After going through every picture file, it seems my supermodel ones have disappeared and the only ones I can find would put me in the greyer/balder/chubbier category. (Is it any wonder that all the ads on my facebook page are about anti-aging strategies?) So can I have your help? Here are three pictures. Will you please vote on the sidebar for which one would best represent me on my facebook profile?

Picture A (which, for those of you who asked, also shows my new haircut & Marci, I've cropped all I can):

Picture B (cropped from the first version)

Picture C

Picture D (thanks for the ideas, Jen)

2. The second question I have is about your philosophy in adding friends. Do you add every positive acquaintance? What about second cousins twice removed? Are you obligated to add family who asks to be added? Should you send a friend invite to people you had crushes on in high school, even though you are perfectly and happily married (yes, ballroom dancing is back on track)? And theoretically speaking, does it really matter if you have 100 "friends" on facebook, but you wouldn't call any of them if you were having a bad day and needed to talk?

So what is Facebook? A great social networking tool? or a newer, better, trendier way to waste time?

stupid, stupid, stupid

2009-03-03T12:02:00.000-08:00

I am so stupid. Yesterday I started the book Sarah and AnnaMarie recommended--Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I took it to the Y and started it while exercising. Wow. I was rightfully nervous about the premise (think a TV reality show like Survivor, only contestants aren't voted off, and the winner is the last one alive). But I got sucked into the story. I remember crying at some point, something about the love of the girl and her sister, which I'm sure looked ridiculous while I was on the eliptical machine. Anyway, I got home and put the book away for later. "Later" was the second my last child was in bed. I picked the book up at 8:30pm, and I honestly didn't come up for air until 11:30pm. I had no idea time was passing so quickly. I made the mistake of not giving myself a time limit, and jumped back into the book. Then it was 12:30am. I know that my kids wake at 6:30am. I know that the book will still be there when I wake up. But I'm so close to the end and I just want to know how 2 things get resolved. And guess how I'm rewarded at 1:20am? With a transitional moment and "The End of Book One" on the final page!!! Ah!! When is the sequal coming out?? I've got to know what happens! Surely Katniss will find a way to lead a rebellion against the inhumanity of the Capitol! And whatever will happen when she reunites with Gale? Did the mockingbird pin have any unknown significance? This is killing me! And yes, there was violence in it. I could never watch this story on-screen. But it didn't seem to go overboard. But I still wouldn't say it qualifies for "Wholesome and Uplifting", which are the criteria for books we read in Relief Society Book Group. I'd put it more as "Exciting and Suspenseful". But I am just dying with exhaustion as I try extra hard not to take out my stupidity on my kids in grumpiness.

You know, I know I haven't posted for awhile, and it's been a busy month, so if you want to know what's going on, please read the next post.

New News

2009-03-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

February has been a busy, short month. Here's what's new with us:

1. T & I are taking a ballroom dance class together once a week. I really want us to learn to dance well together because, well, I've danced with good dancers and T just isn't one of them. I mean, he can do a killer disco, but partner dancing...? Not so much. I also hoped that our taking the class would bring us closer together and not just make me frustrated. Pride goes before the fall once again, I guess. On the first day of class I was doing my best to recall what I had learned in my BYU social and ballroom dance classes years ago. I guess I was getting a little mixed up because the first words of feedback our 70-year old Italian dance teacher gave was to me: "You are being way too bouncy. The foxtrot is supposed to be smooth and graceful." oh. maybe I wasn't the best dancer of the two of us. So that knocked me down a few notches to where I was more willing to be a team in learning together. We had a good time the first time, and the second time. We missed the third time, and the fourth time was miserable. I don't know if T was stressed because we had missed a week of instruction, or if I was being too lazy, but T started being critical of MY dancing. Excuse me? I wasn't pointing out his weaknesses, and he wasn't perfect either! The dance teacher came to help us and when I danced with the teacher I always ended up in the right spot at the right time. So it couldn't have been all me--that's all I'm saying. Anyway, wish us luck because we still have 5 more weeks to go and I don't want this to be what finally sends us into unhappy marriage-land. We probably just need to actually practice at home in between classes. That would do us a world of good.

2. We went to Texas! Sunshine, cousins! It was a wonderful time. The temperature was 30-50 degrees warmer than we are used to here. Glorious! The kids had the best time with their cousins and our family was so hospitable. I was the lamest guest I'm sure because I spent the time either tired, sleeping, reading, or feeling embarrassed that my kids are so noisy and messy! Their kids are perfect--or close to it anyway. And I came back more motivated to keep my house tidier. They were amazing. And Melissa, if you are reading this, your RS lesson was awesome. (It's STILL totally winter here. No hint of spring at all!! But Couscous finally just had enough, pulled out her bike and rode around with her snowpants and winter gear on. She did have a tough time navigating the icy patches on the sidewalk though.)

3. Haircut! Shorter than ever and I like it! It wasn't exactly intentional, but it's fun to try something new.

4. New and improved basement playroom! Thanks to our landlord, our playroom looks like a room and not just a storage area with carpet thrown on the floor. I didn't actually have to build it, but there was moving things around, and dealing with most of the toys being upstairs and messing it up.

5. Tried to do something about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. In January, about 30 people signed my letters to Walgreens and Barnes and Noble asking them to be proactive in keeping the covers out of sight of children. It's funny because I don't know what in-store result is. I haven't even been in those stores. I did such a good job of avoiding Walgreens after last year's incident, that I don't even think about going there anymore. I didn't hear back from B&N, and I got the same exact letter from Walgreen's this year as last, only from the corporate headquarters instead of the district offices. They say that they can't just focus attention on one magazine because it's hard to draw the line of appropriateness. I kind of understand what they are saying. In truth, most popular magazines have inappropriate pictures or words on the cover. How can they say no SI, but then carry other mags that are nearly as offensive? It really needs to be blanket policy, not just focusing on one mag. The other day I was thinking that one day, Avandra is going to stop looking at the delicious looking cupcakes on the front of cooking magazines and look at the mags I don't want her to see. And she's going to ask me, "Mom, what is an org*sm?" So I decided that if/when that happens, I will say, "That's a great question. I know just the person to answer it." We'll call over the store manager and I'll say, "My daughter has a question for you." I'll let Avandra ask it, and while the manager is still stunned I'll say, "You don't need to answer that question, but may I come visit with you tomorrow about how we can make this store a little more family-friendly?" I almost wish it would happen.

Best Books You've Read?

2009-02-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

What are some of your all-time favorite books?

I'm needing to solidify the book choice for our March Relief Society Book Group. I've had a couple of recommendations that I'm going to browse through. Maybe you've heard of one and can give me some feedback. Maybe you know just the perfect book that you LOVE and want to share. Please tell me!!

I'm currently re-reading one of my all-time favorite books, Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. This is my second time and I love it just as much (if not more!) than the first time I read it. How can Tolstoy be so observant and descriptive of real-life conflicting emotions? I love that his story is anything but cliche. It's a tad long, and viewed by some as one of those "depressing Russian novels", both qualities that keep it from being an A-List book for our particular group of women.

We want to keep things G- or PG- rated, without always being in the Young Adult genre. Here are the books that have been brought to my attention:

* A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park
*The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
*America's Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates, and Heroines by Gail Collins
*Christy by Catherine Marshall
*Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
*The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Denko

Thanks for any feedback and recommendations!

Laughing At My Own Funeral

2009-01-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

On Sunday I had a bit of luck. I have often thought what a bummer it is that we can't be at our own funerals to hear all the wonderful words of kindness people were thinking while we were alive. Now I know what it feels like and it really made me laugh!

I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting on Sunday about the power and blessings of Primary (the Children's Program at Church). I was serving in that area until recently, so I guess it was time to share my "words of wisdom" of what I've learned. What I really learned is in the sidebar if you want to check it out, but it didn't seem too appropriate for church, so I came up with something else to share over the pulpit.

I introduced my talk by saying that I never liked babysitting, that I was pleasantly surprised to find maternal feelings when I gave birth, that I'm not patient, and no one's ever mistaken me for being "sweet", hence my surprise at being asked to serve in Primary. Well I don't think anyone got past that point of my talk. I didn't realize that when I said "sweet" (meaning, syrupy sticky, cutesy with children), other people heard "sweet" (meaning a nice person).

I first recognized my gaffe when an older couple came up to T & I and said, "You are two of the sweetest parents I've ever seen. We just love watching you with your kids." I kept waching Avandra, just waiting for her to jump in and clarify THAT misconception. She must not have been listening because she didn't say anything. A little embarrassed, I walked my kids to their classes. Then a young mother came up to me with tears in her eyes and a big hug, "I can't believe you don't think you are sweet! I think you are one of the sweetest people I know!" Now I was really embarrassed --completely cognizant that most of my fellow church-goers were convinced I have no self-esteem whatsoever!

Although two people made comments that showed they understood my meaning of "sweet", I also got accused (in a friendly sort of way) of lying over the pulpit. And remember I said that no one had ever mistaken me for being sweet? (T told me later that people must have taken that on as a personal challenge.) I think the funniest response was when a kind-hearted man said, "H, I just want you to know that you are often mistaken for being sweet." And then realizing his statement had come out completely wrong, he added, "You are a favorite among our family."

So thank you all for your kind thoughts. I feel very, very loved. And to clear the misunderstanding, I feel pretty fine about myself so don't you worry. I just don't want to hear at my funeral, "She was such a sweet girl, and she never even knew it."

P.S. And if you actually want a hint at what my talk was really on? The power is in the personal experience each child has as they come to Jesus (see 3 Nephi 11:14-15) and the blessing of primary is found in Isaiah 54:13-- "All they children shall be taught of the Lord and great shall be the PEACE of thy children."

Nominations Requested Please!

2009-01-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends--

As some of you know, we are getting to the point in our lives where (finally) we need to make a decision about where we want to plant our family permanently. But where? T & I have talked about this for last 9 1/2 years of our marriage, and since we didn't know, we just shoved it off to the back burner for later. Now is later! YIKES! And since we still don't know where to be, I am requesting nominations of the best place you've ever lived or experienced.

Here is my very optimistic wish-list, in order of importance, but please feel free to nominate a place that doesn't meet all my criteria, since I know it's impossible anyway.

1. A great place to raise a family. If I could have a guarantee that wherever we went would be the best chance for my children to grow up safely and make good choices, I would move there in a heartbeat, regardless of the situation.

2. We want to live somewhat near family. Since we have family pretty much across the nation, that shouldn't be too hard.

3. Weather needs to be decent. Since it's below zero right now for me and everyone at playgroup today was talking about Seasonally Affective Disorder (winter depression) and what treatments work for them, I would like to put in a request for "sunny, but not too hot or humid". Is there a place where it is comfortable to be outside 8 or 9 months a year? Terms such as "wind chill" and "heat index" are not my friends.

4. Good community. I would love to live where people are good, solid, down-to-earth, faithful people, though not necessarily of my same faith. I think my current community fits that description well. I would like to be around people who think but aren't intellectually proud. I also really hope to avoid the consumerist competitive "keep up with the Jones'" attitude so prevalent in our society.

5. City/Country accessibility. T has been thinking more about living out in the boonies, which is funny since he's never lived there himself. As he says, "I keep meeting all these people who were raised away from cities and are still normal." I personally like the cultural aspect of cities, with the space and perspective of countryside. Is it possible to have both?

6. Not too much traffic or in a high-development zone.

What do you say? Where's the best place to be? Or only slightly less helpful, where do we want to avoid? I really appreciate your help!

Double Whammy

2008-12-24T14:00:00.001-08:00

Two days after Thanksgiving, my grandpa died. Last night my grandmother joined him. I'm too stunned right now to be grateful for what I know is true: that she has rejoined her husband and that she is beyond the grasp of the dementia. I'm sure if I could see them together now I would stunned at their glory.

In a way, that is such sad news for Christmas Eve. On the other hand, it makes so real my gratitude for my Savior, for His Atonement and Resurrection. Thank you Jesus for all the gifts you constantly give me. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.

Twilight Before Christmas

2008-12-22T20:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, my last Twilight post was serious, so I'll try to make it up to you by leading you to a great spoof! I already forwarded this link to some of you, and you enjoyed it so much I had to share it with everyone else.

Twilight Before Christmas

Anyone else have a good spoof link to share?

Pride Goes Before the Fall at the Y

2008-12-22T20:02:00.001-08:00

No, I'm not actually referring to the poor Bowl performance after the BYU Cougars' otherwise great football season. This post is actually about me at the YMCA.

I tried out a stability ball class this morning. When the first 2 people I saw were 70-year old men, I rolled my eyes and thought, "This will be a waste of an hour!" The teacher and the other class members came in and I was the youngest by at least 15 years. As we began, the teacher said to me, "I know it's your first time so just do the best you can." "Right," I thought, in a sarcastic tone of voice. "Bring it on!" But 15 minutes later those 70-year olds were kicking my heiny! At one point I was literally clutching my hamstring and mentally screaming, "Cramp! Cramp!" At this moment my legs are still feeling quivery and my abs are still tight (but from the class or snitching Christmas cookies, I don't know). At least I didn't literally fall off the ball (although another lady in the class did), but there were some very narrow escapes. Good class!

**Here's something else funny that happened today but has nothing to do with my title. I walked outside this morning and thought, "Wow! It is really not that cold today! The wind's not blowing at all! Well, my chin is getting a little cold..." I passed one of those time & temp marquees: current temperature -1 F. But it sure beat the socks off of yesterday's -30 F windchill!! Practically tropical!

Why We're All in Love With Edward

2008-12-16T11:53:00.000-08:00

An interesting article that says it better than I can.

What Girls Want: An Edward

The Barbies and the Bees

2008-12-14T14:56:00.001-08:00

First, let's start with the Barbies. My Couscous wants one for Christmas. Not unusual for little girls. But I am not the usual mama. I have an anti-Barbie mentality. The kids have worn me down a little. They do have Barbie scooters (better than the Bratz alternative), a Barbie Magnadoodle, watch Barbie movies and sing Barbie songs. I like the personality characteristics Barbie shows in her movies. But I can't get past the Barbie DOLL. It's the whole triple D bust, 14" waist, Amazon length legs. I just hate having that be the model my little girl has for what a beautiful woman looks like. It's so unrealistic! And so non-age-appropriate. I try to guide my Avandra to read books that are about kids her age. I'd like Couscous to play with dolls that look like kids her age. And maybe I was just a naughty little girl, but I remember "acting out" some TV love scenes with Barbie and Ken. We have a big enough problem these days with girls and women thinking their bodies have to look a certain (sexualized) way. I get so sick of the ads about plastic surgery to "tighten" this or "augment" that. I hate that I see padded bras in the girls' section in the department stores. I love the focus on what our bodies can DO, rather than what they look like. When Couscous complained about her hair today (which most people agree is absolutely gorgeous), I asked her Who gave it to her. Why are we so ungrateful about how God has created us? When I give someone a gift, it disappoints me if they don't like it. I'm sure God feels the same way when we are dissatisfied with the gift of our bodies and we feel we can "improve" upon how he made us. I remember a discussion in high school seminary class about resurrection and how we would be resurrected into a perfect state. I remember hoping against hope that my perfect resurrection would include long legs! I think I understand now that our definition of beauty is mostly drawn by our culture. There will be no long legs for me, because long legs won't matter. Nor will we care about big busts or skinny thighs. The resurrection will make us perfect in what our bodies can DO, because we are already beautiful in how we LOOK. We just have to reject the false beauty template society has shoved down our throats.

Now for the Bees. I need to give a little background on this. My dear Mom was one of those who sat my 12-year old self down for "THE TALK". I was horribly embarrassed, covered my ears, closed my eyes, and ran from the room. I think she ended up just handing me a book later. I promised myself that I would never do that to my children. So the way I deal with it is that I always answer my children's questions honestly and clearly. When my kids ask about body parts, I tell them their true names. When my toddler got into the feminine hygiene products and my girls asked what they were for, I told them. I don't tell them more than they ask for, but I always answer their questions. Having family members in the healthcare field has also brought some interesting body books into our home, and since Avandra loves to read and loves science, she probably knows more than most children her age. I should add, she knows more facts and fewer societal interpretations. To my knowledge she has never seen any sex scenes on TV or in movies, but she knows that an egg comes from a mom and sperm comes from a dad and that you need both to make a baby. That was as far as she got, but I knew my days were numbered until she came to the next step. Last night was her night:

We were sitting in the dark as I tucked her in and she said, "I love you Mom more than anyone in the world. Well, you and Dad tie."

"That makes sense. (I totally walked into it here:) You wouldn't be here without both of us."

"I know an egg comes from a Mom and that sperm comes from Dad. But how do they get together to make a baby?"

Gulp. Silence. Gratitude for Darkness.

"Well, the Mom and the Dad have to get close enough together for the egg and sperm to touch."

"Do they come up through the mouth when they kiss on the lips?"

(Do you know how much I wanted to say, "YES!" and change the subject? This was a huge test to my decision to always be honest.)

Long Pause. Silence. Prayer in Heart.

"Actually, no. They come from our private parts. That's actually why we don't let other people touch them and why we don't touch them ourselves."

"Why can't we touch our own private parts?"

"God created those parts so we can create other people. He is the Great Creator but He shares with us some of His power. It's a very sacred power so that's how we show respect for that power."

"That means I also need to show you more respect Mom, since you created me."

Whew! She changed the subject herself. But wasn't that a sweet conclusion she came to?

(I'm sure Freud would have a heyday with this post.)

Loving

2008-12-09T11:19:00.000-08:00

I never seem to have one-second epiphanies. It seems to take me weeks of various experiences that all come together into an "Aha!" moment:

1. This Thanksgiving was the best I can remember! My sister's family is here, my mom flew in from out of state, and my brother and his family drove into town. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!! Friday night we got together after all the kids were asleep and we laughed so hard that our abs hurt the next day. We laughed so hard that some of us were literally on the floor. We laughed so hard that those of us with poor post-partum bladder control ratings had very close calls. (And to think this was a completely natural high!) With whom else can you be so uninhibited and share so much to laugh at? I am converted. Family is one of God's greatest gifts. Especially when you compare Friday evening with Saturday. Saturday evening is when we found out that our Grandpa had passed on. He had been sick for awhile, and he was 87 years old. But still in some ways he seemed immortal. That man had had how many heart surgeries and come out fighting? But again, to be able to mourn with my family. I felt so much love.

2. I love listening to Christmas music, especially romantic tunes like "Let It Snow." Listening to those songs and seeing the "Twilight" movie make me remember and appreciate young, new love. I remember a certain walk on a snowy January evening that ended up being 5 miles long because we couldn't stop talking with one another. It was the first night we even held hands, and yet I prophetically wrote in my journal that night that I would one day marry that boy. I did.

3. But as wonderful as new love is, I've got to admit that 10-year old love is even better. New love is the "hope". Our love is the beginning of fulfillment. To live with a man who works hard for us each day, does our dishes each night, agonizes and rejoices with me about our children, gives me a safe haven where I can be goofy, loves and respects me so completely, and somehow thinks I'm still hot after having 3 children! I couldn't ask for more.

4. Although then I think about my Grandpa and Grandma. Grandma has had dementia for about a decade and my Grandpa had taken care of her in their home. Although physically aged and emotionally tired, he would not hear of putting her in a care center. My uncle cared for her too, but there was no hired help. Grandpa was her ears and her eyes, her cues, and her warm body of comfort. Many years ago my Grandpa wrote in poem:

I count as blessings in my life
A family and a loving wife....
Throughout the years our lives have grown
Impossible to view alone;
But twined together as a vine
All closer grown with passing time.

From each to each we freely give
And freely take, and though we live
In threatening world--we still can see
Our love transcend adversity.
If such great blessings should depart
And I be left with aching heart,
If fault be mine, let it be such:
I loved not little, but too much.

Grandpa loved much, and his happy countenance and quiet sacrifice day in and day out showed it.

I couldn't make it to the funeral, but I heard how my Grandma reacted. She is not lucid at all, but she seemed to realize something was going on. During the viewing she said to my sister, "I'm crying, I'm crying," but no tears could escape. When I heard that I cried for her. My sister responded to my Grandmother who cannot see, cannot hear, and cannot understand, by putting her warm hands on Grandma's face. Grandma closed her eyes as if the touch was pleasant.

5. Yesterday I saw a link to http://www.joytoeveryone.com/ and watched the short movie clip. (YES! Take a moment and go there!) I was awed by the pictures portraying the beauty and dignity of God's children throughout the world. Many of the pictures showed relationships of family love. And I finally reached my epiphany: The world is filled with love! Parents who love children, children who love parents, spouses who love each other, siblings who love each other! My family experience is not unique, but part of a beautiful fabric of love covering the entire earth! A fabric of laughter and sacrifice and sorrow and joy. I guess I'm really slow but I just had no idea! I know that there are many who don't feel that love and I don't want anyone to feel left out! "God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." We are the human family, all of us God's children and we have so much love to give and share with one another. Thanks to all of you who share your love with me. Merry Christmas!! I hope we can find a way to share that love with others. I hope I just shared some of it with you.

"Wicked", H8, Heartsick, but Hopeful

2008-11-19T11:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, Erin, this is for you. You want to know what's going through my head so here it is:

First of all, I can't stop singing the songs for "Wicked". It's haunting! The show was very fun, very impressive, a good date with T. I was pleasantly surprised about the ending since I only knew the music, not the complete story. SPOILER ALERT: I was so happy that Elpheba never did turn wicked, that she didn't die, and that she had a happily ever after with Fiyero. I suspected the Wizard was her father. I thought that the show might explore some of the deeper concepts hinted in the music, but it was really just fun. Then a friend lent me her CD and Couscous has been playing it nonstop. The music is now running through my head every moment so I'll have to ban the CD from her before I go crazy.

Second. Gosh I am just stunned by the post-election reaction to the passage of Prop 8. For at least a week, in every media source I turned to, I heard about the hateful, bigoted people who had passed it, about the hateful "Mormons" who made it all happen. Now of course I couldn't vote for it, but if I could have, I would have. But those "hateful" descriptions don't ring true to me at all. I know myself. Hate was never the motive for me. My friends in California who voted for Prop 8 didn't do it out of hate either. So I've been just feeling so stunned by the media being unable to come up with another explanation of why the proposition passed. Like maybe people just believe in their hearts that it's right, regardless of what is PC. It's weird to hear and see a lie accepted as truth everywhere I turn.

To add to the accusations of hate, have come the hateful behavior aimed toward some who supported Prop 8. ""It's easier to attack a minority religion, especially one that frankly isn't very well understood, than to protest because 70 percent of African American voters also supported Proposition 8," says Mike Ottermeyer, a somewhat exasperated LDS church spokesman. "It's a tactical thing. It makes it easier for them to vent their anger and frustration. But to vandalize chapels, vandalize temples, put graffiti on our buildings, protest outside our temples ... It's completely unreasonable. People have the right to protest. But this is way over the top." The illegal protests without a permit to harrass worshippers and the stories of individuals who because of their personal opinions are being forced out of their jobs. A rash of graffiti, arsons, vandalism, the anthrax scare at Catholic Buildings and LDS Temples. There is no evidence at this point that there is a link between Prop 8 and the arsons, vandalism, and anthrax scare ("Correlation is not Causation") but it is quite a coincidence. All these things have been disturbing, sickening, and extremely ironic.

For awhile I kept looking to different media sources to see what the latest attack was, but that didn't help my peace of mind. I finally realized that this is a case of the Iron Rod and the Great and Spacious Building. In the story, those holding to the Iron Rod are trying to go forward to eat of the sweet fruit representing the love of Christ, and they are using the word of God as their guide As they go forward, they hear very smart and beautiful people mocking them from the Great and Spacious Building. The Great and Spacious Building is the world with it's pride and wisdom. Ezra Taft Benson said about scriptural pride, "The central feature of pride is enmity -enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen....We pit our will against God's....The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives."

As I think about the media--entertainment media with it's fashion and beauty, and news media with it's human intellect--I see the Great and Spacious Building. And yes they are mocking aren't they? But here's where I found the answer for peace: "And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not....For as many as heeded them, had fallen away."

So, *poof*, off goes NPR. Entertainment media that supports the ideal of gay marriage? Nada. Delete goes the email forwards meant to enrage. I'm not listening.

And I have found amazing comfort in reading the most recent General Conference talks. They are almost all about being peaceful and optimistic in times of trial. It's almost as if they were... prophetic!

California Heroes: Could I Do That?

2008-11-05T07:14:00.001-08:00

As I write this, official results have not been released, but I am feeling "cautiously optimistic" about the passage of Prop 8. I've been thinking alot about the people in California who have been standing on corners, donating money, and enduring personal attacks in order to "stand for truth and righteousness." At playgroup yesterday we were wondering if we could do that if we were asked, regardless of the outcome, and here are the thoughts that have come to my mind since.

1. If we ever consecrate our time, talents, money, or any other God-given gift in order to defend His truth, we will be blessed personally, regardless of the immediate external outcome.

2. There may come a time when the difference between winning and losing a stand for truth is determined by whether we are willing to give all, or whether we held back a little. (I wish I would have thought about that before I decided to donate less than I could have to this cause.)

3. I would rather be on the side of righteousness, losing a temporary battle, than on the side of wrong winning a temporary gain.

4. When Christ comes again he talks about dividing the "goats and sheep" and "wheat and tares." I don't remember reading the part about any sidelining spectators. There will come to each of a us a time when we will have to make a choice of where we will stand.

5. I need to be very careful to remember the fight is to sustain truth and righteousness. It is not a fight against people. If I take personally the tactics of those who are confused and oppose truth and righteousness, than I am allowing myself into an emotional place where I am tempted to villify and feel negatively towards people. That is just as surely a victory for Satan as is passivity towards the cause of truth. It is a very narrow path. But the two great commandments are to love God (ie. loyal to Him and His way) and love our neighbor (regardless of their behavior).

6. I will make a stand to defend God's truth. I find the truth about families in the Scriptures, in the Proclamation to the World, and in the words of modern prophets and apostles. Of course I've already gone through the effort of establishing my own testimony. That testimony gives me faith to listen and learn. "Now we have a world where people are confused, if you don't believe me, go and watch the news." My life experience has taught me that when I follow the word of God, even if I don't understand why, I will always live to be grateful. My same life experience has taught me that every time I disobey the Lord, I always live to regret it. No exceptions.

7. In reading the scriptures I have realized that it is not unusual for people to be mocked, derided, persecuted (even killed) for speaking and defending the truth. What is unique is the experiences most of us in the USA have had in our lives of being able to speak and worship freely. Californians possibly feel that those freedoms are waning. If we do see the day when we are persecuted on a broad scale for standing for truth and righteousness, we shouldn't be too surprised.

"The Standard of Truth has been erected; no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done."

Thank you California Heroes for setting a great example and choosing the right, regardless of the consequences!!

Prop 8: Acting with Love in Our Hearts

2008-10-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

Sarah gave me a lead to a blog that carried this short and sweet video about Prop 8. It really resonates with me. Please take a few minutes and enjoy!
http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/2008/10/simple-and-short-video-to-explain-prop.html

Why YES for Proposition 8

2008-10-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

***If you feel strongly about supporting Prop 8, we only have 5 more days. "Yes On 8" still needs funding for ads. The "No" campaign is very well funded and are running 2-3 ads for every one that "Yes On 8" can run. Click here for more details.***

I've been thinking a lot about the issue of gay marriage. The battleground of California's Proposition 8 has bled over into other states, as I think we all recognize that it will be a pivotal decision. Between my last post about Obama's stance on this issue, an email conversation with my in-laws, and the visiting teaching lesson being about gender as a characteristic of our eternal nature and purpose, I've been trying to formulate my thoughts clearly. I still want to do it for my own benefit. But if you read nothing else from this post, please read this insightful interview by Elder Dallin H. Oaks on the Lord's view of issues surrounding Same Gender Attraction. It is compassionate, compelling, and clarifying.

I wanted to create a better written post, but time is gone. Californians vote in 6 days. Here's where I'm at so far:

1. A distinction must be made...I can love all of God's children, all my brothers and sisters, without approving of everything they do. God loves me even when I do things that are wrong. I still love my children even when they are making disappointing choices. "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."

2. The Word of God makes clear the Lord's view on marriage and homosexual behavior. Faith in His word makes our defense of His way a no-brainer.

Genesis 2:24--The pattern of marriage is set with the creation of husband and wife
Leviticus 18:22 --The rest of these scriptures indicate clearly the Lord's opinion of homosexual activities. Thankfully He will in His wisdom, justice, and mercy take care of the consequences. This does however enlighten us on His take on the matter.
Leviticus 20:13
Isaiah 3:9 (very interesting viewed in the context of today's world)
Romans 1:26-27
1 Corinthians 6:9
1 Timothy 1:8-10
Family: The Proclamation to the World

3. Comparing gay rights to civil rights is misleading, although it's a seductive method often used to confuse. This issue of gay marriage is about behaviors, not about people.This is about choices, not tendancies. We have the gift of agency. We are not predetermined. We are not simply animals that must act upon whatever urge we may get. We are all given challenges and various tempations. Why or how we got those challenges doesn't matter. Nature vs. Nurture doesn't matter. What matters is what we do with them. It doesn't matter if I inherited my temper or learned it. What matters is how I choose to handle the temptation when something irritates me. I struggle against that temper each day. But in the end, I'm the one who chooses whether I win, or whether my temper wins. And I'm accountable for the outcome. If I yell at my children, they don't say,"It's okay Mom. I know your temper is just who you are." My behavior hurts them, is wrong and it negatively affects our household. Likewise, gay behaviors have negative consequences, and not just for the person doing the acting.

4. The issue of whether or not there should be gay marriage does effect me, my family, our community and our nation. This is not just a matter of "live and let live". I'm not trying to persecute or cause harm. Giving gay marriage legal status is akin to socially condoning gay behavior. The behavior is wrong. Last I checked Heavenly Father doesn't change his commandments to appease His children. Could you imagine if my children voted on whether or not they should be able to run into the street? Should I change my rule based on the popular opinion? If I did, what a foolish parent I would be, for I know that the possible result of death or serious harm continues. Wrong is wrong, regardless of how many people espouse it.

Giving social acceptance to wrong-doing increases the incidence of that behavior. Giving gay marriage legal status ensures that my children will be taught in school that it is an equally acceptable alternative to traditional marriage. Already a first grade class in San Francisco has taken an official fieldtrip to a lesbian wedding. Also here's a link about how Massachusetts parents and worshipers have had their rights removed. The parents aren't even allowed to opt-out of the 5-year old "diversity" training. And can you explain to me why the California Teacher's Association has used 1.3 million dollars to oppose this measure? That I don't understand. story here.

Additionally, can you imagine the identity crisis teens must go through now? It's already a time of confusion and definition. Now they have to ask themselves about their gender orientation too? It's entirely possible that normal emotional intimacy between 2 same gender friends could be confused for romantic intimacy in this world of "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It". I was thinking of a high school acquaintance the other day. He was rather effeminate in voice and action, involved in theater and music. My HS experience didn't involve gay couples walking down the hall and I never had any reason to think he was gay. I was wondering the other day about if he could make it in this current social landscape without the expectation that he be gay. Maybe those effeminate characteristics are somehow linked to gay tendencies, I don't know. But what if he didn't want to act on the gay tendancies? Could he not be gay in this social landscape? I found his blog soon after my wonderings. He's now living with a boyfriend.

The last way gay marriage affects me is because as Elder Oaks explains in his aforementioned treatise, it changes the definition of my marriage.

P.S. I have been thinking about these things for awhile and working on this post for a few days. However, last night 2 different people sent me interesting emails concerning their personal experiences trying to go to the Oakland Temple. In order to get there they had to pass through Prop 8 protesters screaming insults and obsenities. An newspaper reported it here. Of course I feel for the people who must go through that disturbing situation in order to worship. I'm also sorry that the protestors feel so much anger and hurt. I wish that those who protest Prop 8 could understand that it is not a personal attack on them. This isn't bigotry. If people want to live homosexual lives, that's their choice. But we can't socially approve or condone that behavior just to make them feel better about their choices.

Presidential Concerns

2008-10-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a debate last night. At least it didn't give me a headache like the 2nd debate did. But I think I'm more confused than ever. I wonder if I can even vote this election with a clear conscience.

McCain unfortunately spent most of his time attacking Obama and sounding flustered. I really wish he would have just stood his ground and expressed clearly what his plans are. I feel like he hasn't been very specific about anything except his $5000 health care rebate, which would hurt us personally since right now our employee-based health insurance is tax-free, and $5000 isn't enough to actually help people who don't have any health insurance.

I was so impressed with Obama's ability to express himself clearly and articulately. He has made lots of specific plans, many of which would help those who need it. As I was watching I thought, "Wow, he's tromping on McCain," and I felt like he'd be the better leader. But then came the question about choosing a judge who may or may not support Roe v. Wade. I knew that Obama was pro-choice so most of his answer didn't surprise me. But then he said something that scared the daylights out of me.

Barak Obama said (taken from the transcript printed from CBS news):

"It is true that this is going to be, I think, one of the most consequential decisions of the next president. It is very likely that one of us will be making at least one and probably more than one appointments and Roe versus Wade probably hangs in the balance. Now I would not provide a litmus test. But I am somebody who believes that Roe versus Wade was rightly decided. I think that abortion is a very difficult issue and it is a moral issue and one that I think good people on both sides can disagree on. But what ultimately I believe is that women in consultation with their families, their doctors, their religious advisers, are in the best position to make this decision. And I think that the Constitution has a right to privacy in it that shouldn't be subject to state referendum, any more than our First Amendment rights are subject to state referendum, any more than many of the other rights that we have should be subject to popular vote. "

When I heard those words, I just thought of the state referendums that are going on in Arizona and California to define marriage as between one man and one woman. Although Obama did not refer to homosexual marriage at all in the debate, that statement made me very nervous that he was speaking against such state referendums. So I decided to check out Obama's official website. And I found that Obama absolutely opposes state referendums that allow the people to decide how to define marriage! (see http://obama.3cdn.net/9bbadf2e4222f1de03_5humvyu4s.pdf. (This page can be found by going to his official website, clicking on the "People" tab, "LGBT", and then "Comparisons of Obama and McCain on LGBT issues" under "Resources".)

He doesn't think it should up to the people! I guess in my heart I really do believe that people and states should be able to speak out about what is acceptable to them, and that one person should not be able to take away our ability to say, "no, that's not okay, and that's not the kind of world I want for my children."

In addition, factcheck.org reports a somewhat different story of Obama and his vote against the Infant Protection Act in Illinois, than the one that Obama told last night. http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/obama_and_infanticide.html

I do believe that Obama would be a better, more natural, more charismatic, more articulate leader, but maybe that's even more dangerous if he's leading in the opposite direction than I want to go. That's where I am right now. There are my two cents. Feel free to enlighten me further in any direction.

Feeling "Wicked"

2008-10-10T12:27:00.001-07:00

Oh, my cousin Heidi inspired me and I've just blown buku bucks so that T & I can go see "Wicked"! As T says, we've got to do what we can to keep the economy afloat. But I'm just excited to go! I've been thinking about it for years and now that the nearby show is closing in January, I just can't put it off anymore. Plus now that Carrie's here I have someone who will watch my kiddos!So it will be an early Happy Birthday to me, and I'm sure I'll tell you all about it. I'm not going til mid-November, but we've got front row center seats on the balcony. Those should be good--right?

Politically Speaking

2008-10-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to draft a political blog post to get everyone's thoughts since the VP debate, but I've been too confused and unmotivated (especially after the last debate which was pretty much, "Vote for me because the other guy's a lying loser."). So I never actually wrote anything. But then I get tickets to Wicked and can't wait to blurt the news. So much for being a "contemplating" mama. Whatever.

The way I see it politically:
Yes, every media outlet is biased in one direction or another. My plan was to listen to the debates and then go to factcheck.org afterwards. That's pretty helpful--except when it's not. But here's what I've gathered in my little mind.

Pros for McCain/Palin:
Pro-life
More likely to support traditional family & choose judges who will too
More likely to be fiscally responsible, although factcheck.org analysts believe both candidates are proposing more than they can fund without deficit spending.
More likely to end the war in Iraq responsibly

Pros for Obama/Biden:
More likely to help with funding for college educations
More likely to help with better health care coverage
More likely to support and promote alternative energy sources
More likely to tackle the Taliban in Afganistan

Cons for McCain/Palin:
Their health insurance plan is completely inadequate.
They lack specific plans in other areas.
Republicans have done a lousy job the last 8 years and continuing in that vein makes me ill.
They lie.

Cons for Obama/Biden:
They have plans for every aspect of our lives and how they can stick their fingers into it.
They are excessively pro-choice.
They lie.

I don't mean to sound cynical, but I know I do. I really DO want to figure out who to vote for and I really DON'T know what to do. My last 2 votes I voted strictly on the pro-life/traditional family issue, and frankly I don't think we're any better off in those areas than we were before. AND I also think we're way worse off in almost every other aspect. I feel like I need to extend my decision beyond those issues.

Any help out there? Please, I really do welcome any ideas into this forum. What are your thoughts right now and which direction are you headed? (Yes, I know at least 97% of my readers are Republican, but I'd like to know WHY you are voting the way you are.) THANKS!

Ireland Adventure, Part 2, Counties Kerry, Cork and back to Co. Clare

2008-10-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

NOTE: Please participate in my Irish Centered Quiz this week--it's at the right!

DAY5: Well, the luck o' the Irish wasn't with us today. We called the boater to make sure the trip to Skellig Michael was a go, and it was! (Our original plan was to go the day before, but weather made it impossible.) So we hurriedly ate our breakfast, checked out, got cash from the ATM, headed out the wrong side of town, quickly turned around and got going the right way towards Portmagee. We knew time was going to be tight, but we were confident things would work out. And then we got behind an over sized truck going only half the speed limit. Why not pass him, you say? Well if you've been to Ireland, you know why not. Because except for the rare dual-carriageway (I totally thought Tom and Jackie were calling them Jewel-carriageways), the roads are so tight! There are no shoulders and often the roads are truly only passable for one vehicle at a time. For example, every time a car was approaching this over sized truck from the opposite direction, they slowed to a complete stop and drove into the side bushes to avoid being taken out by this guy. So we were stuck. FINALLY the truck turned off and we gunned it as fast as we could. The clock was ticking but we were making excellent time. And we pulled onto the dock of Portmagee at 11:02...just in time to see them shove off into the water. I've got to give credit to my husband, who chased them, yelling all the way down the pier. But no cigar. I was disappointed to the point of tears. This was the ONE thing that T had really wanted to do. To be so close, and then not have it happen. And then to find out that 12 boats had taken off between 10-11am! Why did our guidebook only tell us about the last one?

Our plans were ruined, but sometimes spontaneity brings rewards too. I let T call the plans for the entire day, and he suggested we take a hike to a lookout point towards the Skelligs. We had a picnic up there and it was absolutely gorgeous...some of the best cliff scenes we'd seen.

I looked at the sheep and cattle grazing with this kind of view and thought, "You don't know how lucky you are. You could be in Nebraska."

It's funny because we spent so much time in the country, I kept smelling odors that made me want to check my shoes. Also, the sheep all have different colors painted on them. My first theory was to save time; this wool will all become blue sweaters. Then T almost ran over a few escaped sheep hanging in the roads, so we thought maybe the colors are to make them more eye-catching. I'm sure it's just the same as branding, but I like our theories better.

And speaking of smells, I really wish there was some way to document them. I really grew to love the sweet smoky smell of burning peat turf bricks. Mmmm.

Some of my favorite sights were of the endangered Irish older man. I love the caps they wear and their jackets or sweaters. I'm afraid they are a dying breed.

The second part of our spontaneous day was to get off and hike near the Gap of Dunloe and we continued around the Ring of Kerry. Wow. Wow. Wow. Breathtaking. T swears this is where the JRR Tolkien's books take place; the water is so black.

And then we ended our spontaneous day by eating at the best restaurant of our vacation, as we drove to Cork for the night. So, it ended up being a fine day, although I am disappointed about missing Skellig Michael.

DAY 6: We visited the famed Blarney Castle today!

Isn't it austere?

T and I each kissed the Blarney Stone, although my smootch was not properly documented:

But I have a question: did people used to LICK the Blarney Stone? I didn't want to ask before I kissed it, but some of the historical quotes say "lick" not "kiss". UGH. And Maggie, I'm now ready to hear the stories you were hinting at before. I didn't want to lose my stomach before I kissed it. And I'm still waiting for the gift to take root.

The Rock Close around the Blarney Castle was truly a magical place. There is the Witch's Rock--can you see why it's called that?

Apparently she gets locked in the rock all day, but can come out at night. Scary! The rest of the day was spent wandering around Cork--the odoriferous English Market, University of County Cork, and Fitzgerald Park. I guess after all the amazing natural and historical sights, modern city sights didn't strike us as very photo worthy (Sorry Roisin!)

DAY 7: Our final day was spent back near Shannon Airport, in County Clare, at a place called Bunratty Castle and Folk Park. By now I am ready to go home. It's been fun but I miss my kiddos and I really miss my bed! Make a note: Orthopedic mattresses = hard as a board and mighty uncomfortable.

This Castle was the only one we'd seen that was actually furnished. Of course not the original furnishings, it was supposed to be furnished in period pieces. I saw at least one anachronism, but I'll assume the rest was accurate. The coolest part about this castle was that it was an important one for my progenitors--the O'Briens!! They were one of the main ruling families 1000 years ago. When my dad told me we were descended from Brian Boru, the first High King of Ireland, I remember telling my grade school peers that I could have been a princess in Ireland. It seems I got the gift of Blarney a long time ago. Is this the throne I would have sat on?

Hope you don't have a problem with vertigo going up and down the tower steps:

The rest of the Folk Park was kind of like an Irish Village Nauvoo--with furnished homes and working shops. It was pretty cool though. We did bump into some Irish dancers there:

Oh, wait the real Irish dancers were at the Traditional Irish Night that we went to that evening. The food was only adequate for the price, but there's something about Irish music and the quickness of the Irish dancing feet that accelerates my heart and makes me so excited! If you are like me, here's some footage (no pun intended):

Ireland Adventure, Part 1, Counties Clare, Limerick, and Kerry

2008-09-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

Yes! We made it to Ireland!! How does it feel to have a dream come true? To me it feels completely unreal. I just can't believe it! We have been here 4 remarkably busy days--every day is so unlike the rest.

DAY ONE: We flew into Shannon airport and cruised right on up to County Clare. We saw our first castle overlooking Doolin Point. And can you believe the sun? Neither can the Irish! Apparently it's been raining all summer long, and just started being sunny. The forecast says it will be good all week. How's that for amazing?

We saw the Cliffs of Moher first thing. Aren't they absolutely breathtaking? The other 3000 tourists that day thought so too.

After the cliffs we headed to our B&B in Miltown Malbay, Co. Clare. It was Berry Lodge, a wonderful place to stay and an even better place to eat. Everything was delectable and straight from the garden. I had an apple & pear crumble (crisp) that was to die for and the pears came right off her tree. This view of the Atlantic I found right down the street from where we were staying.

DAY TWO: We went to the Limerick Branch for church on Sunday, and met the nicest people. Tom & Jackie Kelly invited us for a delicious Sunday dinner that brought back wonderful memories of my times as a missionary in England. And I discovered that I love parsnips. The day before I discovered that I love fresh beets. I still haven't had the courage to try black or white pudding. The black is blood sausage and I don't know what the white is, but ...Ick! Not that the Kelly's served that. We had a delicious plate of roast and roasted veggies with gravy over the whole plate. Mmm! And as if that wasn't enough, they then took us on a tour of Lough Gur, a lake surrounded by ancient sites, among them: an old church ruin, a communal grave from 2500BC, and the Grange Stone Circle which is 4000 years old and is the largest stone circle in Ireland (think Stonehenge). Interesting that we actually went on the Autumnal equinox too. So here are the Kelly's (minus their Eogan who was asleep in the car) in front of the Stone Circle:

I hope if they come to Chicago (he's doing an MBA through Northwestern) that we'll get a chance to meet again. (FYI Deb: She's originally from Queensland.)

DAY THREE: Monday morning we looked around Adare for a bit and then headed to the Dingle Peninsula. Can you say this 10 times fast?

Dingle Peninsula is serious Gaeltacht territory, so most of the signs were in Gaelic. While there we walked along Ventry Beach and found some nice shells.

One thing we wanted to do was go swimming with Fungie the local dolphin that lives in Dingle Bay. No such luck. The season is over so we had to settle with taking a dolphin watching boat.

We saw him!!! He was playing tag with our boat and coming up for breath every so often. I am sure I was as excited as any of the kids who were on that boat! I love watching dolphins so much. Next time I'll swim for sure!

That night we stayed in a gorgeous out-of-the-way B&B called The Shores in Castlegregory, Co. Kerry. The hostess, Annette, met us in a black evening gown. I'm not kidding. We must have been a disappointment in our jeans and what-not. It was so well-decorated and comfortable. And at a bargain price too. (Trivia: Apparently Dire Straits stayed there and so did the cast of Melrose Place.) Annette told us about little group of locals that got together to play music, sing, dance, and tell stories every Monday night, so we went to check it out. It was in this little cottage with white washed walls, low light, and a smoky fireplace The lady played the harp, 2 people played accordions, a few children played tin whistles and so did a dad, some different people sang various old songs. One little girl did an Irish reel (without a fancy dress and curly wig by the way). I just closed my eyes and felt myself go back through the generations of my ancestry. It brought tears to my eyes. I felt like I was extremely lucky to experience such an authentic piece of their culture. I'm sure it was only because we were staying so far out in the boonies, away from big cities and "progress". We were the only foreigners there. Anyway, here's the cottage of our "culture night":

DAY FOUR: Today we came down to start exploring the Ring of Kerry. We walked through some of the Killarney National Park, hiked up and around Torc Waterfall, visited Ross Castle, and here is the Muckross House:

Built in the 1840s and having about 20 chimneys, think of what it would have cost to heat that thing?? But other than that, it's my dream home. Gorgeous, isn't it? And here's the view from the front windows:

Hiking up and around Torc Waterfall, I didn't catch any leprechauns, but I found some shamrocks!

What other remarkable adventures to come? Hopefully Skellig Michael, Cork and the Blarney Stone, and Bunratty Castle. Stay tuned...

Clean, Good Literature Ratings!!

2008-09-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

I am so excited!! I have wondered and wondered how to find a ratings guide for modern literature. I'm too afraid to pick something random off of the shelf at the library. Who knows what it might contain? I have wished that there was a rating system like for movies, so that I would know what I was getting into. Well, my day has come!! I just became aware of www.ratedreads.com. This is a woman who has been a literary editor for a newspaper, but is also an active, returned-missionary member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Her mission is to help people know what's out there that is well-written and clean too. I hope avid readers are just as excited as I am!

Glory, Glory, Back to School!

2008-09-14T19:36:00.000-07:00

Two years ago Avandra started preschool. She was so excited to start school and with her academic mind, I knew she was coming into her own. We arrived at school the first day with some time to spare. Enough time for her to look around at all the children she didn't know, all standing in line waiting for the door to open. Enough time for her to allow all the inner fears of the unknown to come out. So when the teacher opened the door and all the other children went through, my daughter freaked out. She grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I tried to encourage her to go in, but she would not. Then the preschool teacher physically grabbed Avandra and started pulling her into the classroom. Avandra responded by wedging her body into the door frame with her arms and legs, crying out, "Mom! No!"

I was completely floored by the teacher's response, but knowing that chewing out the teacher right then wasn't going to help Avandra, I just put on this fake cheery smile and said, "Goodbye Avandra! Have a fun time! I love you!" And then I went around the corner and burst into tears. Needless to say, it was one of the most horrific moments of motherhood I have experienced.

Between that first experience with the teacher, and some subsequent ones, I requested that Couscous get a different teacher for her turn this year. Everything was going as planned until...a million new kids moved into the school district and they had to rearrange everything. When Couscous ended up in that same class I wasn't excited, but I figured things would be better. For starters, I was pretty confident that the teacher would remember our post-traumatic discussion following that first day of school for Avandra. I was sure I could count on the teacher not repeating that opening performance. But Couscous? She's more of a mama's girl than Avandra ever was. She's just the sort to become a cling-on at the exact wrong moment.

Nervous as ever, I took her to the school that first day. I timed it perfectly--just in time to watch the kids go into the classroom. No time to wait and worry. I gave my Couscous a goodbye hug...and she didn't let go. She grabbed me so tight. I wasn't sure what to say so I didn't say anything, I just held onto her too. The teacher assistant came over and said, "It's time to go inside." Couscous just kept holding onto me...and then finally said, "Goodbye Mom. See you later," and walked into the classroom. Hooray! Victory!! I guess she just needed the time to pull out her confidence from the safety of our embrace, and then she made the decision to be brave. I'm so proud of her!!

So here's a picture of her on her first day with some buddies:

As for Avandra, she hopped onto the bus taking her to 2nd grade without any hesitation. When I told her teacher that she loved to read to the point of neglecting everything else, she said, "What a teacher's dream!" I had my doubts about that, which have been justified by Avandra already having been reprimanded--for reading while the teacher is talking, for reading while the other children are at their lockers, for reading during math review. [She even skipped class in 1st grade once. She told the teacher that she had to go to the bathroom and took her book into the hall and read. ] I hope she never tries anything really dangerous because I am sure she's prone to addiction.

August Rush

2008-09-14T19:31:00.001-07:00

At the recommendation of Carrie, T & I rented "August Rush" last night. I loved it so much. It's definitely an addition to my "Mostly Clean Movies that Don't Insult My Intelligence" list. Yes, my analytical side obviously doesn't agree with some choices that were made, or know how the next 30 minutes of the story would continue post-movie, but overall I found it so beautiful and enjoyable--the music especially. I hadn't heard of the movie before--was I just out of the loop or did it sneak in and out of the theaters?

August Re-Cap

2008-09-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

We have had so much fun lately, but haven't had a chance to share. So here is the condensed version.

First and foremost...my sister's family is here!! Woo-hoo! We are loving having them here. If you live near here and haven't met them, you really need to. They are so cool!

Second, we continued our family tradition of going to State Fair, where everyone tried a new ride:

Third, we went to Utah for Kari & Erik's wedding (those are my kids in the picture, not theirs! We still believe in "First comes love, Then comes marriage, Then comes baby in the baby carriage.")

There was lots of fun with cousins and the girls loved spending the morning with their very cool Uncle John and Aunt Danielle up on Temple Square. (Danielle, I don't think you wanted me to post the only pictures that I have of you, sorry. The girls took them so they aren't really in focus.)

The funniest thing about that day was after the beautiful dinner at Thanksgiving Point Gardens. We watched the happy couple leave to go to their very messy, very decorated car. Only, there was a small glitch. The Honda with California plates that had been decorated was not the right Honda with California plates! So, someone later came out of the Gardens, maybe with a date, or maybe married 20 years, and they were greeted with a very messy, very decorated car that said, "Just Married!!" Needless to say, none of us stuck around to watch. Whoops! Hope they have a good sense of humor!

We also had our very own Corrigan Family Adventure! If you are part of my family, you know what that means. It usually involves my dad and lots of things going wrong. In our case, it started by us going to Deer Creek Reservoir to go waterskiing. This was the first time in 8 years that I had skiied, so I was excited. And my dad REALLY didn't want to disappoint us, so he got his boat all ready for us, even though he hadn't used it at all this summer. We should have known when we got it into the water and it wouldn't start. But between my dad (MacGuyver) and my intelligent husband, they jimmyrigged the truck's battery to the boat battery and got it all started. We went out in the lake and after everyone had a chance to get invigorated by the fresh, cool water, I got my chance to ski! I asked T to take pictures, although after 8 years, the shots he could have gotten are numerous:

Me totally biffing it

Me, a few hours later, in a total body cast

Heck, he could've even gotten the one where I'm trying desparately to keep my shorts up because they were causing drag when I forgot to take them off before jumping out of the boat.

But instead he got:

Yes, it's me! The form may not be great and I'm on 2 skiis, but I'm up!!

Immediately after I end this run (in a total wipeout) the boat's engine cuts. For good. And the next hour is spent trying to flag down some help, trying not to get blown onto the rocky beach, and going through 3 ropes trying to get pulled back to dock by some very nice and very inexperienced boaters. I tried not to freak out, since we had to catch our plane a few hours later. But we made it back to Christie's house where T & I threw our luggage together, each took a 5 minute shower, and then raced to the airport. Made it!

Other fun Utah adventures pertaining to my family can be found

here or

here (scroll down a little if you want to see what we look like photoshopped in with the rest of my family. It kind of makes me feel like we're the embarrassing illegitimate children. Not even invited for the real picture, just snuck in after. Interesting piece of trivia: The shirt T is wearing is the same shirt my brother-in-law is wearing. I don't mean from the same rack at the same store, I mean, the exact same shirt. Photoshopping is a modern day miracle, I tell you.)

or here (for a funny story about and cute picture of Avandra)

How's that for an update? Told you we had fun!

Bloody Mess

2008-09-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Avandra, who has gone from looking like this:

To looking like this:

And kudos to T, who was able to stay there coaching ("Twist, push, Did you hear it pop? Wow! It's sticking straight out when you do that! Can you taste the blood?") while I ran, hid, closed my eyes, and covered my ears. Yuck! And how many times do I have to go through this again? Thank goodness for T!! And Avandra is SO proud of herself, since she's one of the latest kids to start losing teeth. So Hooray!

Hooray! Politics is Interesting Again!

2008-09-05T19:38:00.001-07:00

Thank you Gov. Sarah Palin, for making me care about this election again!I was so burnt out but she's breathed in new life. I actually WANT to vote now. For who? I don't know yet. But I'm actually motivated to study it out, whereas 1 week ago I couldn't have cared less. I think it's exciting that no matter which party wins, we will be making history in the White House, either with race or gender. And my first impression is that she's a far more acceptable woman for me to vote for than Hilary ever was.

I Should've Known

2008-08-31T14:26:00.000-07:00

When I said that I didn't have to worry about Sports Illustrated Swimsuit covers again until Februrary, I was sadly mistaken. Grocery shopping last week, I was greeted at the check out line by their "Special Edition Painted On Swimsuit Edition". Oh, Joy. Of course I spoke politely to the manager about removing it or covering up the picture. I got a polite but non-commital response from him. If any of you see that, will you please speak or write a note for the manager? I really appreciate that.

I was talking to my husband's cousin the other day, and she mentioned that their Relief Society is doing an Enrichment activity based on President Hinckley's 6 Be's. The key-note speaker was covering "Be Clean" and it is a therapist who will be speaking on how to keep safe from internet porn. (S--Correct me if I got any of this wrong, okay?) This cousin also mentioned how in her husband's extended family, an 11-year old boy was given a link to a pornographic website from his "friends". He checked into it, started experimenting, and had to be removed from his own home because he was making it an unsafe environment for the other family members. This cousin realized that she needed to start talking to her older boy (is he 10?) about what he was seeing. When she asked if he'd ever seen any inappropriate pictures, he said, "Yes, in the checkout line at Walmart." It's exactly like JoAnn Hibbert Hamilton says in her book, People Speaking Out for Decency:

"Phil Burress, President, Citizens for Community Values, Cincinnati, Ohio, said at Impact America Conference, April 2000, "Ninety-five percent of our children have already been exposed to pornography. Much of this early exposure was in store checkout lanes. ...Of the hundreds of addicts I have spoken to in the last four years, about 95% of them said that their addiction first began with swim suit images, often seen for the first time on or in a magazine. Donna Rice Hughes, Kids On Line, stated that....Often in play [children] act out what they have seen."

This cousin also said that Sister Beck talked in the BYU Women's Conference about needing to do more in the community to protect our children. I haven't been able to find the transcript and I wasn't there, but it sounds good to me!

My Take On Breaking Dawn

2008-08-29T19:14:00.001-07:00

I finally finished the book. Wow, that was a bit of a surprise and a bit of slogging through. I'll follow Anne Marie's example and post my thoughts as a comment, so as not to spoil if there's anyone on the earth who hasn't finished it yet. But here's a small spoiler: My comments are not all positive.

Ice Cream Junkie

2008-08-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me, know that Ice Cream is a staple at our house. I come from a long line of ice-cream-o-holics. The kind who consider a serving of ice cream to be less like 1/2 cup and more like 1/2 a house. The kind who say "Do you mind if I polish this off?" as a euphemism for "I'm going to take the final 3/4 of the carton." And it just so happened that I married a man after my own palate. Which is why I am thoroughly devastated that the ice cream conspirators decided to shrink the carton size. Which is also why I was ecstatic the last time I went shopping and scored this coup! Among all the other shrunken cartons, I found one last tall and proud one. And it cost me the same $2.88 as the little ones. Take a good long look below because this may very well be the last full-size ice cream carton you will see in your life.

P.S. This ice cream is already long gone.

A Stephenie Meyer/ JK Rowling Romance

2008-08-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of re-reading the Twilight series before I launch into Breaking Dawn. So last night, as I was curling up in bed with my warm-blooded husband, I naturally said, "You are my very own werewolf." Obviously a compliment. So I was stunned when he whispered back, "And you are my amoeba."

Pause. Blink, blink.

My brain was trying to make sense of that comment. Tee was a microbiology major...is there more to being an amoeba than I had previously assumed? Was he unintentionally offended by my werewolf compliment? Has our marriage fallen apart completely without my being aware of it???

"An amoeba?" I repeated in confusion.

Which is when he laughed and said, "No, my veela." OH....Okay. I may be going deaf but at least we still have the fireworks!

Response to Sarah

2008-08-08T20:21:00.001-07:00

Sarah asked to see a picture of me in my new black dress. So here are T & I on our lovely anniversary. Sorry that you can't see much of the dress, but I'm sure you can see that time has been very, very good to us, don't you think?

P.S. Actually T has had so many random people tell him he looks like Edward Norton. I didn't even know who he was and had to look him up. And understandably, I've had just billions of people mistake me for Salma Hayak.

It's a Wonderful Life-- 9 Glorious Years Together

2008-08-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was busy and wonderful and celebratory!

7 am: I hit the early bird sale at a department store and bought myself a lovely little black dress for our 9th anniversary celebration dinner, as well as for Kari's upcoming wedding. (The dress was 50% off--Sweet!)

8:30 am: Tee-Roy and Avandra go help build a wheelchair ramp for a 90+ year old woman in the ward who has been housebound.

11:30 am: We hit the BK and go as a family to the local water park. We all had fun even though Couscous was a tad grumpy/tired. The bummer was when we found out the rules had changed and Avandra and Couscous couldn't go down the big tube slides on my lap. That had been the highlight last year. I took Avandra and she measured 1/2 inch too short to go by herself, so of course we decided to try it anyway. She got in 3 good runs before a lifeguard measured and booted her. But it was still fun.

3:30 pm: I ran to the grocery store.

4:30 pm: I take Avandra for new shoes.

6:25 pm: I pick up the babysitter 'cuz T and I are going out!

7:15: Tee-Roy and I are 15 minutes late for our 9th anniversary reservation at Zagat's #1 Italian restaurant in town. We were still seated and it was a wonderful 4-course, 2 hour meal...Bruschetta topped with eggplant, melon gazpaucho, artichoke-stuffed tortellini, and some amazing puff pastry & cream desset topped with fresh berries and an orange sauce. We were so tempted to lick the platter clean!! It's amazing how without the kids we can still slip back into just enjoying each other's company. It seems like so often our conversation is "Do you want to change The Ky-Guy's diaper or do the dishes?" It's nice to know that we're still good friends and not just partners in parenting.

I think we have the best anniversary tradition. We don't buy each other gifts. Instead we just go out to eat at the nicest place that we can afford. During dinner we read predictions that we made the previous year. These predictions were about what we thought the next year would bring. This can be about our family, our community, the world, politics, weather, whatever. During dessert we make new predictions to seal in an envelope to open the next year. It's always funny to see what we guessed. And we definitely shouldn't make fortune-telling our income-source. Last year I guessed that we'd be really close to inviting a 4th child into our home. Ha-ha! Now I predict that next year we will still be absolutely thrilled and satisfied with the 3 we already have.

Actually this year we are giving ourselves an anniversary present. It will be a month late, but we are going to Ireland--alone!! Woo-hoo!

So...in celebration of our 9th anniversary, 9 Reasons I'm Glad I Married Tee-Roy
1. When we were dating I felt different than I had when I was with anyone else. I felt like us being together was part of something bigger than ourselves. I have seldom felt the veil to heaven so thin.
2. He has always treated me with respect and calmness. He lets me ride out my emotional waves without feeding into them.
3. He seldom, if ever, criticizes me. He knows that I am aware of my flaws and feel the pain of them enough without him adding to it.
4. He is never sarcastic or uses negative humor.
5. He honors the priesthood of God that he holds. He recognizes it as an opportunity to serve. He is always looking for ways to serve others, and that stretches me into being more kind than I naturally would be.
6. He has unshaken faith. He never doubts and isn't pessimistic.
7. He is a very "hands-on" father and husband. There is nothing that he won't do in our household and with our family. In fact, if he doesn't do the dishes after dinner, they don't get done that night at all.
8. He is an excellent teacher. He teachs our children so well. He helps them learn how to do things independently at comparatively young ages.
9. He is incredibly supportive. If I have ideas of ways we can improve as a couple or a family, he will support me 100%, even if it might mean a sacrifice to him. He doesn't try to talk me down from my personal standards, even when they are stricter than the norm.

I love this boy! I thank God every day for His guidance in bringing us together. I am so, so thankful.

Mothering Moments

2008-08-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight we had such a wonderful family walk. It was pleasant, we got rained on, The Ky-Guy made the girls giggle all night with his silly fun, and they caught loads of fireflies with daddy. It was a one of Elder Ballard's "moments" --

"Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."
(Elder M. Russell Ballard, "Daughters of God")

Being Sarah-esque

2008-08-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

My friend Sarah is a wonderful cook. She always finds these delectable recipes and so many of them become my family's favorites. Her blueberry whipped cream pie is just one example. Mmmm! It's not uncommon to see her blog-post about food. Well, I am feeling very Sarah-esque after a wonderful meal that we enjoyed tonight.

Tee-Roy and Avandra came in from the garden with 3 large cukes, a large bowl of green beans, and tomatoes. We enjoyed the bounties of T's hard work like this: Grilled Salmon with Cucumber Salad (the salmon was done on the BBQ and we didn't use quite as many red onions in the salad), fettuccine with pesto, steamed fresh green beans, and fresh tomato slices. We ended it all with Breyer's M&M Cookie Dough Ice Cream. It was a beautiful presentation, delicious food, and the kids totally didn't like it. Oh well, they got their blue box of mac n' chee yesterday with the babysitter. And the caveat, in case you want to try this meal: we were fasting today. And we have noticed that new recipes are quite successful on Fast Sunday, but tend to disappoint the second time around. Food just tastes a whole lot better when you're hungry!

Funny Twilight Link

2008-07-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

I found this link on AnneMarie's blog last night and at 11:30pm it was absolutely hilarious! I just re-read it and it wasn't quite as funny as it was last night in my sleep deprivation. But, if you are a Twilight junkie, or even sort of like the books, see what you think: http://mormonhusbands.blogspot.com/2008/02/twilight-series-for-dummies-and-totally.html

She's Going, Going, Gone...

2008-07-26T14:53:00.001-07:00

Couscous recently learned how to ride a bike without training wheels!! Yes, she's barely 4 years old. And it took her all of 15 minutes from removal of training wheels to riding solo. I'm not kidding. Last weekend we went on a family bike ride on this gorgeous path surrounded by woody areas and wildflower meadows. It was maybe a mile or two is all, but she did it all by herself the whole way. And she's on this dinky short bike so she had to pedal about 50 revolutions to every one of ours. She was so cute and such a sport! It was so much fun!

It's a Small, Small World

2008-07-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

I started the day a little sluggish. I've been staying up til midnight reading every night lately and it's catching up with me. So with my slow start and my husband's work schedule today, I ended up with the choice between running to the grocery store without my 3 helpers or doing my hair and makeup. If you know me, you know what I chose. So I threw a baseball cap over my undone hair and went au naturale and pas kiddos to the store.

I came back in time to unpack the bags and then it was off to the park for a bi-ward picnic. It was a fun time. But near the end, as I'm trying to kindly remove Couscous from the sandbox without losing my temper in front of church friends, a father from the other ward comes up to me and says I look familiar. He's wearing shades so I can't really see his face and he doesn't seem familiar at all. He asks me if my name is H..... "Yes..." And then he tells me his name, "Remember we worked at the MTC together." And my brain is going, "Yes, that is you. And not only did we work at the MTC together, you took me skiing, and to the University of Utah Homecoming Dance and various other outings until I eventually had to give you the friend talk."

And you know, all of a sudden I wished that I had done my hair and put on makeup this morning. It's funny that even though I'm glad he's happily married and has 4 children and I really never did have any romantic interest in him and I've got to admit that time hasn't done him any favors either, I'm vain enough to wish that when he bumped into me again he wasn't completely and obviously relieved at how life worked out.

Pandora = Great Music!

2008-07-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

My hubby just found this great website...Pandora.com where you can make your own music stations. You register as a user, enter in an artist you like and then they play music from that artist and similar music. You can delete a song if they play something you don't like. You can have as many stations as you want and you can combine artists on stations. So, for example, if I want to listen to my Harry Connick Jr station, I get songs by him, Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, Nat King Cole, etc. Or I can listen to my Dvorak station, or my Alison Krauss station, Crosby Stills Nash, etc. I don't think I'll listen to the radio again as long as I have my computer nearby!

Yes, I did like The Host

2008-07-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

After waiting 30 years for my turn for the copy from the library, I burned through the 600+ pages of Stephenie Meyer's "The Host" in a weekend. Yes, I thought it started slow. Yes, I know some people could not get into it. Yes, I agree that the relationships aren't as captivating as those in her Twilight series, but I still think about the characters. No Carrie, I did not think it was predictable. Yes, I really liked it.

How does she do it? How is she able to put characters in completely unrealistic situations and make you believe it could happen?...and I'm not just talking about the sci-fi aspect of the story. It's the relationships. I like how she explores questions in all of her books such as "what is the nature of our soul?" "what does it mean to be a human?" "how much of our human existence is tied to the way we love others?" "how much of our human experience is based in our emotions?" "how do our emotions, our physical desires, and our spirits interrelate?" And frankly, her questions of how unmarried physical desire needs to be harnessed so as to not harm the soul, how we might restrain that physical desire if we realized our body was not our own, and her imagery of the fire of passion make me think of 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 and Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments by Jeffrey R. Holland.

Now, again, how does she do it? How does she burn out 5 Bestselling huge and interesting stories in 4 years, tour the world, help make the movie, oh yeah, and be a wife and raise 3 young children? Does this woman sleep? How clean are her bathrooms? Of course I suppose she probably can hire help for the bathrooms. Last year I went with our RS Book Group to one of her book signings for "Eclipse" (which, by the way, I didn't love because I was too uncomfortable with the "will they/won't they" walking the line bit). We were definitely the statistical outliers surrounded by over 100 teen girls. But it was so exciting to see her face to face and I've got to admit that when she took one of my questions it was one of the coolest experiences in my life to be able to say I spoke with Stephenie Meyer!

We Feel the Need for Speed!

2008-07-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

This morning was a red-letter morning for sure! A huge big breath of "Ahhhhh!" Today we went with Heidi and her children to her parents cute lakefront home. It wasn't that far away, but it was a world away at the same time. Grandma Doreen made us feel right at home, and soon we had our noodles and floaties and were ready to dive on in! After some splashing around, Heidi (aka the Speed Demon) took us on a nice boat ride tour of the lake. The kids learned that they aren't fans of the "no wake zones" but they do love to say, "Hit It!" With the water and the wind it brought back so many great memories of boating with my family. Speeding around all day, waterskiing and and tubing, eating PBJs and drinking Fresca (doesn't stain the boat), listening to my Dad's Beach Boys tape, and then when the sun sets, to just toodle along lazily enjoying the peace and beauty of it all. Of course, the evenings were when I would wish so hard as a teenager that I was with a romantic beau and not my parents and 5 little siblings, but still. Well today Avandra did have a beau with her. When Michael introduced Avandra to Grandma Doreen, he introduced her as "the girl he was in love with." Heidi had given me the head's up, but Avandra looked at me with this little smile and a quizzical, "Did I just hear him right?" look. But unfortunately, when you are 6 romance doesn't look the same way as it does when you are older. In this case their boating experience was Michael following Avandra all over the boat, Avandra tattling on him, and me sitting in between. At least as a parent this kind of romance doesn't look too threatening. Anyway, thanks Heidi. It was a wonderful day!

The Best FHE

2008-07-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

We recently had the coolest Family Home Evening! I had planned a lesson on how our body is like the temple, pretty much taken directly from the June 2008 Friend Magazine. My children were playing with their nonmember friend Catherine all afternoon, so naturally, they wanted to invite her to join us for Family Night. We said she could if her mom gave her permission. So she returned after dinner and we started the night. We had such a great discussion! Of course, we had to explain to Catherine what a temple even was. When we told her that people who are married in the temple could be with their families even after this life she said, "Oh, that's like my aunt." Confused, I asked, "Did your aunt get married in the temple?" "No, but they have a family burial plot so they'll be together even when they die." I had to hide a smile, and then I explained that families married in the temple will live together again after this life and forever. "Wow," she said, "I want to get married in the temple someday." Considering her parents are just going through a divorce, I'm sure that sounds extra good to her.

Then we were talking about how we treat a temple with respect, and since we learn in the Bible (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) that the body is also a temple, we talked about how to treat our bodies with respect. Since Catherine was sitting there in a spaghetti strap top, my 6-year old, Avandra, asked if we could review what modest dress was like. My 4-year old (Couscous) said, in a non-confrontational way, "We wear shirts that cover our shoulders, and swimsuits that cover our belly buttons." And Avandra added, "And skirts that cover our knees so that no one will see our underwear if we forget to keep our legs closed." It was funny, but also cool to see the young children teach their friend what they knew.

The last part that just brought tears of joy to my eyes was when Couscous decided to call on Catherine for closing prayer. Not sure of her experience with prayer I said that it was up to Catherine if she wanted to or not and either way was okay. Well Catherine said she wanted to. So my husband taught her a little about how to pray--how to address Heavenly Father, speak what was in her heart, and close in the name of Jesus Christ. Catherine got started but then didn't know what to do. So she crawled over to Avandra and whispered for help. She got the help and the girls didn't even giggle! And Catherine's prayer was so beautiful. I thought about how for nearly 8 years her Heavenly Father has wanted her to communicate with Him and finally she was. I also thought about what great missionaries these little primary children can be. The Spirit was so strong, as it always is when we teach and testify of truth. And I also noticed how much better behaved my girls were than usual! Can we invite friends over every time???

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

We had the best 4th of July! Of course the kids had to decorate their scooters and participate in the children's portion of the community parade. Then we went to our neighbor's house for a BBQ. They are so cute--I've really been enjoying getting to know her better lately. When she invited me, she gave me a caveat that her husband's family would be there and that they would probably drink beer or two each. I told her that was no big deal. We've hung out with people who drink before. But she was so worried about not making us uncomfortable. In fact, at the BBQ no one drank. Then before dinner, her husband asked if we would feel uncomfortable if they prayed. I laughed and said, "Of course not! We'd feel more uncomfortable if you didn't pray. We always pray before we eat." And he offered a wonderfully sincere prayer. Wasn't that thoughtful of them though? That's just the way they are. So thoughtful and funny and spiritual too. I love my talks with them. I love the great people I've met here! Then add on the Wii and the fireworks...it was a great holiday! I'm so grateful for our freedoms, and most of all, religious freedom!

Update Since Forever

2008-07-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, what have I been doing in the last month?
1. Looking for housing for my sister.
2. Reading lots of Young Adult Literature...namely the sequals to Goose Girl by Shannon Hale and the sequals to Fablehaven by Brandon Mull. That's at least 1200 pages of interesting reading so that's not too shabby.
3. Chopping my hair off.

4. Chasing 3 busy but stinkin' cute kiddos around.

Interesting update: I am still trying to get an Enrichment small group together to advocate family friendly environments in our stores (ie. get the disgusting mag covers covered) through kindly speaking with or writing to store managers. The Ward RS President liked the idea. The Bishop liked the idea. The Enrichment counselor had some concerns, so they talked to the Stake RS Presidency. From my understanding of the meeting, some liked the idea more than others. Then the Stake RS Presidency was changed and the one who was less enthusiastic is now the Stake RS President. I wrote her a nice letter explaining my idea since I'd never talked with her personally. She said she'd speak to the Stake President. She shared my letter with him. He's now going to talk to the Area Seventy. It's 5 months after my original request. At this rate I should expect a phone call from President Monson by Christmas! But I just hope to be able to do something before next February's SI Swimsuit Issue. Another funny note, apparently the Stake President said I could go ahead and do something myself as long as I "didn't do anything illegal." Well, you know me...always out to risk incarceration! I wonder, did he even read my letter?

Twilight Talk

2008-07-06T18:53:00.000-07:00

So, what do you think? Are you ready for the 4th book? What do you think will happen? Are you ready for the movie? Will it be any good? I've got to admit that when I've seen the previews I haven't been swept off my feet, but I'm pretty sure I'll still go see it. I kind of figured I'd go see it with some girlfriends but my hubby told me he wants to go with me. It was funny because I kind of felt like he was imposing when I imagined going with him. Hmmm. That's kind of wierd. Why do you suppose that would be?

2008-06-10T12:37:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite quotes EVER! And no fear, I'll never have perfectly coiffed hair.

“I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk’s lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” -Marjorie Peay Hinckley

Modern Day Miracles

2008-06-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

I read an inspiring article today about a group of 40 teens who did a Extreme Home Makeover for their Church Youth Conference. This is the kind of thing that I wish made news headlines more often! They accomplished a miracle, changed lives and learned skills. There was a leader behind it all with faith and a vision, lots of courage, and who wasn't afraid of hard work. And there were countless supporters who DIDN'T say, "It's too hard. We can't do it. It would be nice but...too much work...." Think of the blessings this family received, and maybe more important, the memories these youth will have as they recognize they can make a difference in a very real way when they "stand steadfast and immoveable, always abounding in good works" (Mosiah 5:15).

Hallelujah!!

2008-06-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

I just cannot contain my excitement!!! My sister and her cute family are moving to my city!! I have lived away from family for 8 years, but the famine is now over!! Hopefully we can find a great place for them to live close by. Ward family, you are going to love them! They are the best!

Technology & Isolation

2008-06-02T19:14:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about something, and I know it's not the most original thought, but still. Some technology really seems to isolate. My husband gave me an iPod for Mother's Day. It was very sweet of him to do that and I have downloaded some songs that I wanted to own but just always checked out from the library. But guess what: Beyond trying it out, I have never used the iPod. I don't know when to use it. My ears are needed elsewhere. All day long I have to be able to listen to my children. I can't isolate myself by plugging my ears up. When I exercise I either need to hear Bryan Kest tell me what yoga move to do next, or else I want to hear the beautiful songbirds when I go walking. And sometimes, I just love silence. So when do I use the iPod?

Secondly, our dear blogs. On one level, blogs increase my ability to stay caught up with others, especially those that live far away from me. Blogs even decrease my isolation by increasing my virtual social network. However, here is one interesting point: there are people who live near me, who I see at church and at playgroup, and yet we find out more about each other on our blogs than we do by talking in person or on the phone! In that case, it seems like we've distanced ourselves from each other. We've gone from personal to virtual. Maybe reading others' blogs appeals to our snooping tendencies. We can rubberneck without having to get involved.

I'm glad people care about me and want to read my blog. Thanks for reading and please don't stop! I also really enjoy checking out everyone else's blogs. But maybe sometimes I should put down the mouse and pick up the phone. I definitely prefer personal friendship to virtual friendship if given the choice. What do you think? How does technology affect our relationships?

The Host, Anyone?

2008-05-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

Has anyone read "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer? Is it good? Is it worth reading? How does it compare to Twilight?

Hating Holidays

2008-05-26T18:18:00.001-07:00

Is it okay to admit that I really do NOT like some holidays? And which holidays do I hate? Any holidays where my hubby has to work. I HATE THEM.

I think I have this deep-seated childhood expection that holidays are supposed to be social and special, and everytime I have a holiday that is NOT social and NOT special, I resent every moment of them. Then my hubby has to work and it just makes it worse. I look forward to the day when I have some sort of adult family that I can hang with on holidays, even when T has to work. (Sorry for the grouchiness. Happy Memorial Day.)

Happy Birthday Princess Couscous!

2008-05-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

It was Couscous' birthday!! The highlight of her birthday was the beautiful summer princess creation handmade by Grandma!! She was ecstatic as she opened it and put it on right away. (Mom and dad bought something for her right off the rack and she hasn't deigned to try it on yet. Grandma definitely won the day! And rightfully so. Besides I'm so frugle that if Couscous doesn't want to wear it, I'll just take it back, no problem.) So here are some pictures of Princess Couscous!

The Election Results...Tonight!

2008-05-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

So...who's going to win? No, I'm not talking about Obama vs. Hillary. I'm not even talking about the democratic nominee vs. McCain. I'm afraid this contemplating mama is living on fluff right now. Of course I'm talking about DAVID vs. DAVID. Who will be the next American Idol? That is the big question of the day.

Last night David Archuleta did so well. He sang his heart out and I was tingly all over again listening to his voice. Click to hear Round 1, Round 2, and Round 3. Nothing David Cook sang last night did anything for me. I love U2 and still that song did nothing for me. Granted, last week I LOVED David Cook's version of the Roberta Flack song "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face". Wow. That was great. But I agreed with the judges, last night went to David A.

Now all that said, I did NOT vote for David A. last night. Why? Because I am so impressed with that boy. So, again, why did I NOT vote for him????

Because I can't think of ANY teenage talent phenom that didn't throw their life away! I can't think of one that hasn't found him or herself in a compromising situation or worse, a disaster of a life. Am I just too cynical? Can YOU think of any teen that could handle that kind of worldly pressure and rise above it and stay beautiful and true and wholesome? Here's hoping we've found one because no matter who wins tonight, I don't think the world will forget David Archuleta. I just hope that they remember why they loved him in the first place and that he can handle his new found fame.

Brave Mama

2008-05-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

I spent this final week without my hubby doing something insane. (He's back now though for good!! WOO HOO!!) I went on a roadtrip with my 3 kiddos! They were awesome! With enough DVDs and snacks, peace reigned in the car. Their bladders were stronger than mine so we didn't even have to stop more than I needed to.

We headed to our old stomping ground to meet up with some of our dear, dear friends! It was so good to see them. It didn't satisfy my desire to visit with them, it only whet my appetite. I thrive on Jannika's suggestion that in a few years (read: When we can afford it) we get together from our different corners of the U.S. for a Girl's Only weekend. Oh, Jannika, I'm counting on that. So, Sarah, Jannika, where should we meet? Maui? Spain? Where do you suggest? Okay, maybe more reasonable, San Diego?

We pricelined a hotel with a great view from our window--the old historic courthouse.

We hit the Science Center, Zoo, and Botanical Garden. One of the favorite spots for the girls was the hotel pool. It was great!

Granted, we also had the experience of one daughter slipping in the mud head-to-toe, the lack of sleep sharing a room with 3 children brings, and the lack of PJs a braindead mama brings. But boy were the girls thrilled when they saw on the hotel map that there were BALLROOMS! We didn't see any princesses though. All in all, it was a successful trip and one that we will remember for a long time!

The Joy and Humor of Single-Parent Sundays

2008-05-09T11:35:00.001-07:00

I'm back! I have experienced 3 weeks of single-parenthood and it stinks. I'm so glad my hubby's coming back from his long training session! We've missed him tremendously.

One of the only reasons that I survived was because my dear sister Carrie came out to help me. She brought along her own 2 bundles of joyful energy so my house was crazy and fun and Carrie and I were thoroughly exhausted. I don't know how she did it but she washed my dishes, ("Washing dishes is my way to relieve the tension of the day."), she slept on my futon ("Will you take your bed back? I think that the harder futon will be more comfortable for my back."), cooked me delicious meals (involving such glorious combinations as crepes, asparagus, heavy cream, and nutmeg) and folded my laundry. I don't know what I did. But by the end of the day when the kids were finally in bed, we only had enough energy left to stare at each other and to try feebly to find enough functioning brain cells to hold a conversation before we gave up and went to bed at 9:30. Because we knew that at least one of our dear children would be ready to go at the unholy hour of 5:30am.

I think the epitome of our time was during Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. I'm going to share each episode of our Sunday together, as well as some choice ones Carrie had on her own Single-Parent Sunday a few weeks ago. Carrie, remind me if I forgot some, okay?

1. Carrie's 2 1/2 year old starts singing at the top of her lungs during the Sacrament Hymn. Not the words of the hymn, of course, but she's got the volume. Carrie and I accidently make eye contact and have to stifle our laughing while everyone else is getting ready for the sacred ordinance.

2. My 1-year old rapidly crawls under the pew in front of me and then out into the aisle. I quickly grab him before he gets away, but unfortunately I also grab my skirt in the process and flash the entire Bishopric.

3. At the exact same moment my 1-year old and 3 1/2- year old melt down. The only course of action is to tuck one under each arm, football hold style, while my 3 1/2-year old is flailing and kicking her legs. I later got compliments on my style, strength, and skills, and a father familiar with life in the trenches commented on the challenges of going from man-to-man defense to zone-defense.

These next ones all happened in ONE of Carrie's Single-Parent Sundays:

1. As her 2 1/2-year old daughter is eating her snack bag full of crackers, Carrie takes one little piece from the bag and eats it. Her girl starts wailing very loudly, "Mommy, you just ate my crackers!"

2. While the same daughter is coloring, Carrie leans over and whispers,
"Wow, that looks great. Tell me about your picture."
"It's a fish."
"Oh, and what is that?"
At the top of her voice in the silent chapel, "Those are it's nipples!"

[At this point Carrie figures the bishop's taking notes, "She steals from her children, she teaches them questionable words..."]

3. But the grand finale was when her adorable 6-month old was standing on the pew and flirting with the family behind them...until he hurled all over the man's dry-clean-only suit.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day reminds me of Mother's Day 2003. I had one active young child, a husband with early morning Sunday meetings, and if I remember right, he even had to speak that Sunday which left me alone in Sacrament Meeting. I remember ripping my brand-new dress trying to get my uncooperative child picked up and out the door to church. All in all, I remember being filled with a sense of unfulfilled entitlement. I was MOTHER! It was my day, right? Where were my perfectly obedient child, my kowtowing husband, and lavish gifts of gratitude for my hard work?

A few days later I met with my dear friends Sarah and Jannika. As our daughters all played together we talked about our respective Mother's Days. I told about my feelings and Sarah shared her feelings of guilt at not being a perfect mother. Then Jannika said simply, "I just feel so grateful that I get to be a mother."

That was quite an "A-ha!" moment for us. Sarah and I reminisce about how poignant that was, and my Mother's Days have been more meaningful thanks to Jannika's beautiful perspective.

(It is an extra special time to remember this because the day after Mother's Day I get to reunite with both Sarah and Jannika for the first time since May2004! This is also the first time I get to see Jannika again since her miraculous victory over cancer. I'm so grateful for our friendship and the time we shared together maternity clothes shopping, supporting each other with our newborn baby girls, Thursday lunches, and later playdates with toddlers. Joanna, we'll miss you.)

Walking on Bound Feet

2008-04-08T19:10:00.000-07:00

I loved this Deseret News blog entry I saw today by Kristine Fredrickson. She discusses the traditional Chinese practice of binding a woman's feet for beauty. She describes in detail the ways that women would disfigure their daughters' feet for the sake of "beauty". Then she makes a very interesting comparison to our modern American views of beauty and the ways in which we bind and tuck and starve and add to our bodies for the sake of "beauty". Very interesting.

Go David!

2008-04-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have NEVER watched American Idol before. Not even been interested. But then I kept hearing about this teenage boy from Utah named David Archuleta. I took a peek on YouTube of his performance last week and was hooked! His voice is amazing! His rendition of "Smoky Mountain Memories" has just stayed with me all week long. So, although I'm not watching tonight, I'm hoping that he's doing well. Good Luck David!

Easter Thoughts

2008-03-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

Maybe some of you can understand the feeling, but sometimes it is easy for me to go careening down Worry Road. Have you been on it? It's the one where your husband is 15 minutes late getting home from work and you have him mentally dead and buried by the time he walks in the door. Or when you leave your family to go for a drive 1/2 hour away, and you spend the entire time wondering if that was the last time you'll see your kids in this life. Maybe I'm revealing too much about my own paranoias. I don't know.

But a few years ago, I was on one of those aforementioned 1/2 hour drives and I had an epiphany. I was spending all my time on the Worry Road surrounding death, but Jesus has already given me a toll-free bridge off that road. "Death is conquered. Man is free. Christ has won that victory." I realized that if I was going to spend time and energy worrying about anything, it needed to be in evaluating my relationship with my Savior, and considering my own personal sin and repentance. The only obstacle I need to worry about is my unrepented sin. The rest is a gimmee.

I love how in the Book of Mormon, when the resurrected Savior comes to visit the people, they each go up one by one to "see with their eyes and feel with their hands" that it was the long-awaited Messiah. And after they knew personally, they all cried, "Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God!" and they fell at his feet to worship him. (3 Nephi 11:15-17) It was so meaningful for me to learn that "Hosannah!" means "Save now!" When I think of this passage I think of how the people, once they had seen and known what their Jesus had done for them, they were filled with humility and gratitude, and pleaded as they considered their sins, "Save me. Please. Save me now. Don't wait. I need you now." Sometimes I feel that same way. When I start traveling down my old Worry Road, it reminds me to consider whether I currently feel that love and gratitude for my Savior, and feel the urgency to have him make me right before God, in this moment.

I am thankful for my Savior, who saves me unconditionally from death, and longs to save me from my sin, upon condition of my repentance. Here's also a link to the First Presidency Easter Message , in case you missed it. Happy Easter!

Dedicated To The One I Love (one of them, anyway)

2008-03-21T18:06:00.000-07:00

I realize that I've shared a fair bit about my oldest and youngest, but that my middle child deserves some blog space too. There is so much to tell about her that I'm surprised I haven't yet.

[WARNING: More Potty Talk Coming Up.] One day I went into the bathroom after she had finished and she said, “Whoa. That was some serious poopage.” She also told me the other day that she didn’t want to be called by her name anymore. She wanted to be known as “Couscous”. Yes, as in the food. Another week, as K made a successful breakaway during changing time she said, “He doesn’t have on anything but a smile!”

She is the most likely person to be waltzing around with high-heels (or even on tiptoes in pretend high-heels), but she also has an athletic side to her too. As well as being an amazing dancer, she picked up riding the 2-wheel scooter with no problems, is a pretty good shot with kicking the soccer ball, and every time she sees a snowboarder on TV (which is actually quite a few times), she always asks, “Mom, can I do that too?” To which I reply, “You bet!” and think “You’ll be amazing!”

Sometimes You're the Windshield, Sometimes You're the Bug

2008-03-16T19:05:00.001-07:00

Well you win some, you lose some. But at least I'm learning alot.

Successes:
1. When Heidi kindly asked a manager at a different Walgreens to remove the display of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue and she promptly did. I later went into that same Walgreens and asked the manager to remove the SI mags in the check-out lane. She did again. It was funny because the cashier said, "I've had so many people complaining about those. I don't know why the magazine rep just threw them all over the store! Where does she think we live anyway? We're not that kind of community!"

2. When I kindly asked the manager at Barnes and Noble to remove the offending SI issue from the checkout lane and he did. (This happened yesterday and I was totally unprepared because I thought we were done with that issue sinces it's a new month.)

3. On a completely different note, I told the dance teacher 2 years ago that A couldn't participate in the dance concert because it was on Sunday and that's our day reserved for worship. So this year, S is in that class and the teacher moved it to a Saturday, just because we had said something before.

Disappointment:
Walgreens district manager wrote back and defended the selling of the mags, without addressing the "displaying appropriately for children" issue.

What I am learning when talking to managers:
Some of this corresponds with the tips I've gotten from People Speaking out for Decency: How to Establish a Community Standard by JoAnn Hibbert Hamilton, available for download here.
1. Speak kindly and politely. I compare how likely I am to respond positively to one child who asks for things with a smile and the other who tends to demand.
2. DON'T use the term porn. Use the term "appropriate for children." Although not everyone agrees with what is porn or even that it is damaging, people still seem to understand that some things are not okay for kids to see. I can see that I should have done that in my letter to Walgreens, because their response focused on the fact that they don't sell hardcore porn, rather than on how they could make their store family-friendly.
3. Have your kids there. I noticed that both Heidi and I had success when the manager could see that the mags were on the eye-level of our children. The tricky part is having the manager see that without the kids seeing the garbage.
4. Make a direct request. "I noticed that this magazine is right on eye-level with my child. It does not seem child-appropriate. Will you please remove it?"
5. Whether or not the manager responds the way you want, politely let them know that you will financially support stores that are "family friendly." Show gratitude for their positive efforts.
6. Partial success is still success. In my perfect world, all the dirty mags would be removed and burned. At least they should be covered up. But for where I live and for the resources I have right now, getting them moved from the high traffic areas and displays to the magazine aisle is still success. I do hope for greater success though in the future.

Thanks Heidi for your support with this and for your example on how to do it right.

Happy 1st Birthday Bud!!

2008-03-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful day celebrating K's first birthday!! I'm putting on a video of his "cake experience". Enjoy!

Victoria's Secret Ready for Change

2008-03-05T11:46:00.001-08:00

I just read an Associated Press article that came out on February 29, 2008. (Thanks for telling me about this Carrie!) In this article, Ms. Turney, Victoria's Secret's CEO announced that they want to make some positive changes! The springboard for these changes is the large drop in sales last year. Money talks. We definitely vote for what we like by where we spend our money. Here are a few quotes:

She says that they have gotten "too sexy" and alienated quite a few potential shoppers. "We have so much gotten off our heritage," said Sharen Turney, chief executive of Victoria's Secret, during an analyst call with investors."We use the word 'sexy' a lot and have gotten off 'ultra-feminine'," said Ms. Turney. But that will be a huge task. Victoria's Secret has shifted drastically from its image in the 1990s. The brand has added new merchandise lines that are much less modest than its traditional styles. Malls routinely endure protests from parents who are outraged by the stores' window displays, which often feature suggestively posed mannequins in over-the-top lingerie."

So many people have mentioned their frustration with VS lately! It seems like the timing is right to write a little note to encourage these changes, specifically pertaining to the mall window displays. The address is:
VICTORIA'S SECRET
North American Office
P.O. Box 16589
Columbus, Ohio 43216-6589

The email address is: Service@VictoriasSecret.com.

Here are some links if you want to read more. The 2nd link includes a reference to a successful parent-mall protest in the DC area. Beware though because it does include a typical VS image.
http://www.nj.com/business/index.ssf/2008/02/victorias_secret_is_too_sexy_s.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/28/AR2008022804009.html?sub=new

Happy Writing!

Good Night Einstein

2008-03-03T18:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I was tucking A. in bed I said, "Do you feel snug?" She responded with, "I feel as tight as molecules.....in a solid." I was hiding my smile and wonder when she continued, "Well, a flexible solid. Like paper. Not like wood."

So on that note, I hope you are all feeling snug tonight too, not too tight, just snug, like molecules in a flexible solid.

P.S.

2008-02-26T20:13:00.001-08:00

By the way, I'd like to follow up on my letter to Reader's Digest and Dove. I did hear back from Dove and they just sent me a coupon and justified their ads. So I wrote back and reiterated why I can't support them and that I won't be purchasing their products until the nude ads stop. On a more positive note...READER'S DIGEST has continued to run Dove ads but NONE OF THEM ARE NUDE!! Hooray for RD!! Way to go!

Also, I did have an experience in the last year where I saw a magazine cover with a strategically posed nude model, I expressed my concerns to the grocery store manager, and he PROMPTLY REMOVED THE OFFENDING MAGAZINE! Hooray for Sentry Foods!! Woo-hoo!

Also my bishop sent me this great link for anyone who may be interested in finding out more about what can be done on this issue: http://www.strengthenthefamily.net/ It is an excellent resource and well worth checking out! I especially like where it gives the federal law on this issue, which is, that it is illegal for them to display these items IF the average person finds it against community standards. In other words, it's illegal IF we complain!

I feel very optimistic. There are so many women who want to protect their families and children. I'm really excited about the possibilities!

Dear Walgreens

2008-02-26T20:05:00.001-08:00

By popular request (well, Erin's anyway) I'm posting a copy of my letter to Walgreens. She probably just couldn't believe it when I told her it was polite. But it is, thanks to the help of Heidi and Dana. [Actually, I later learned how to do this even better. See my blog entry "Sometimes You're the Windsheild, Sometimes You're the Bug" for a better approach]. By the way, feel free to plagerize if you want to:

Walgreen Company Consumer Relations
200 Wilmot Road, Mail Stop #2273
Deerfield, IL 60015

RE: Inappropriate Display of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

To Whom It May Concern:

I love the convenience of having my corner Walgreens. I fill my family’s prescriptions there. I get my pictures developed there. The customer service in the pharmacy, at the photo processing, and at the checkout is exemplary. I run to my Walgreens if I need anything because I know I can find whatever I’m looking for.

Unfortunately, a week ago I found something that I was not looking for. As I passed the magazine display, I was shocked to see the soft porn cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. Thank heavens I didn’t have my young children with me! But I was not happy to see it myself! As I went down the aisle I heard a group of teenage girls pass the same rack and exclaim, “She’s not wearing any clothes!” Apparently I wasn’t the only one who noticed. As I checked out, I left a comment for the manager, requesting that the magazine cover be removed, or at least displayed with the offensive picture covered. A few days later I went back to my Walgreens and was disappointed to see that no changes had been made. This time the manager was on-site so I spoke to him directly. He told me that he could not do anything to change the display of the magazine because men’s shaving companies had given Walgreens quite a bit of money so that Walgreens would run a coupon promotion of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

I was disappointed enough to see such inappropriate material on public display, but to find out that Walgreens would actually promote the distribution of soft porn absolutely horrified me. I’m sure that there must be a mistake. Maybe the information I received from the manager was incorrect. Maybe those who make these decisions at Walgreens are unaware that seeing these sexual swimsuit images are often springboards into harder pornography. Maybe those same decision-makers are unaware of how much damage pornography causes to relationships and families, not to mention to the men who view it. I have read enough academic literature on the subject and seen too much personal heartache of friends whose families have had to deal with the fall-out of porn in their homes. If the information I received from the store manager is correct, I would ask you to please reconsider and stop promoting all such material. I understand that Walgreens is involved in many worthwhile projects, and that you have a tradition of being a trusted community presence. The current display and promotion of soft-porn material seems to undermine your good reputation. It certainly has with my friends, all of my extended family, and me.

I have been a consistent customer and want to continue to shop at my Walgreens. However, I cannot feel comfortable bringing my family into a place where they may be confronted with inappropriate images. I look forward to receiving news from you that (1) you will remove the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues and all similar material from public display, (2) that you will discontinue your promotion of such material, and (3) that I can expect the same family-friendly actions from Walgreens to continue in the future. Once I have been assured of those changes, I will happily resume my status as Walgreens biggest fan.

Sincerely,

I am Woman, Hear me Roar

2008-02-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

I am really irate right now, and this post will definitely NOT include pictures. I will probably have to go back and edit this post later to make it calmer. But this is my blog and so I can throw a tantrum if I want to (which I almost did at Walgreen's today).

Last week I went to the corner Walgreen's and as I was there, I passed by the current Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. I hope and pray that your eyes have not been thus offended. It is HORRENDOUS!! Let's just say that the model looks more like she's wearing a strategically placed necklace than a swimsuit top. I was just so grateful that I didn't have my kids with me. So, as I checked out I talked to the cashier, asked for the manager, no one was on site, so I left my message that it was absolutely NOT appropriate and that they should remove it from the shelf, or at least cover the picture. He promised he'd pass along the message.

Today I had to pop in again at Walgreen's so I decided to check out what they had done about the offensive mag. No change. This time a manager was in, so I spoke with him. I started pretty calmly and expressed the same feelings I had before. The manager told me that he had checked with his boss but they said he could not remove the mags. I asked about covering the picture, but he dismissed that option. He said that they had to sell them because this year Walgreen's received a bunch of money from the men's shaving products for this promotion where, if someone buys a men's shaving product they get a coupon for a buck off the Sports Illustrated. "Any Sport's Illustrated? Or just the swimsuit edition?" The swimsuit edition. WHAT? That's where I just flipped. Not only are they carrying the swimsuit issue, and displaying it in all it's slime, they are actually promoting it!! I could just see my little K. (15 years down the road), going in innocently enough to buy shave cream and getting just another temptation thrown at him in the process. At this point my voice was probably a tad loud and I started saying things like "disgusting, absolutely inappropriate, Walgreen's is supporting porn, disrepect of and degradation of women" and such. I calmed down enough at the end to say, "Please pass my comments onward and upward." But then I got out in the car and I continued my private tirade: This is NOT the kind of world that I belong in!! This is NOT OKAY with me!! Porn, hardcore or soft, is as President Hinckley called it, A Tragic Evil Among Us .

Of course I'll write letters to Walgreen's and every shaving company I can think of. But I was thinking of something and I want to ask if any of you have seen this idea in action in your LDS wards. We do all kinds of Relief Society groups: book groups, quilting groups, playgroups, whatever. What better place for there to be a group for the promotion of moral values? There's always more power in multiple voices. I know that most of us share these same values. The world may be slipping into the quagmire, but I don't want it to happen without me fighting back the best I can. I want to make a stand and say "THIS IS NOT OKAY!"

I am reminded of an article Pres. Hinckley wrote in the September 2004 Ensign called In Opposition to Evil wherein he says: "I am one who believes that the situation is far from hopeless. I am satisfied that there is no need to stand still and let the filth and violence overwhelm us or to run in despair. The tide, high and menacing as it is, can be turned back if enough [moral and good people] will add their strength to the strength of the few who are now effectively working. I believe the challenge to oppose this evil is one from which members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as citizens, cannot shrink." Then he mentions 4 ways to start the fight:
1. Start with yourself.
2. Teach the rising generation.
3. Let your voices be heard. Not shrill voices (oops!), but voices of conviction and sincerity. "Remarkable consequences often flow from a well-written letter and a postage stamp."
4. Enlist the strength of God in doing battle.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could rally around as women in Relief Society and do what we can to make a difference in this world of ours? It's our world! Are we going to just let it go? I love President Hinckley's optimism! I had a random thought the other day: What if this "final battle" prior to the Second Coming of Christ includes a battle of morals not just a battle of artillary? It seems like the war of evil is already upon us, folks, but the promise is that we can have God's help and power in this fight! But it is a fight. If any of you have seen RS groups such as this, let me know. I would be very interested in getting more ideas!

Never Squat With Your Spurs On

2008-02-11T19:00:00.000-08:00

As my ol' grandmammy used ta say, "Neva squat wich yer spurs on." Ya kent git any wiser than that.

Oh, wait, this ain't...er...isn't my ol' grandmammy. This is my very young and vibrant Gram Carol. Hello there, Grandma! I'm pretty sure you can consider this the send-off for your future modeling career.

I was fortunate enough to go down to Arizona some weeks ago to introduce this beautiful creature to her newest great-grandson, K. I thought it was a great excuse, ahem, reason to leave this here January northern climate for some desert sun. It was just him and me while the lovely daughters stayed home for some quality Daddy-Daughter time. Funny, I called them one day as I was about ready to go swimming outdoors and they were about ready to go build snowmen. Funny.

Well, Gram and Ernie showed us a wonderful weekend. Spoiled us rotten really. We had some spectacular pizza, experienced prickley pear ice cream, heard a super harmonica band, went on lots and lots of walks, worshiped the sun, had great philosophical discussions, and I got to enjoy watching the happy couple. Aren't they so cute?

Living In a Material World...Am I a Material Girl?

2008-02-03T20:02:00.001-08:00

Sorry about the relapse into the 80s music scene, but Holy Cow! I just read the best article in the most current issue of the BYU Magazine! It's called Enjoy a Richer Life and it looks at the attitudes of materialism and how it affects our relationships. I mean, who are we kidding? Materialism is everywhere, and every one of is affected by it to one degree or another. Gotta get our kid certain brand clothing, send them to the right preschool, take the vacation to the right place, buy the latest gizmo. Media and society are constantly telling us what we have to have in order to have "the good life". But frankly, I haven't noticed a correlation between a happier life and whitened teeth.

Anyway, I highly suggest clicking on the above link, or if you don't have time you could read the following "executive summary," (you will miss some good insights though) because this is seriously good stuff. I am seeing personally in my extended family how focusing on material goods is seriously harming some relationships.

Carroll, the researcher, defines materialism as placing a high importance on material possessions as the means to achieving personal happiness and a sense of well-being. Several studies have shown that people who have a materialistic orientation report lower levels of happiness and feel less connection in relationships. The income is not important, it's the attitude that matters.

Are you a material girl? The article gives us these 5 questions to ask ourselves:

1. Am I looking up the economic ladder or down?

2. How much is my mood impacted by either the lack or the attainment of a physical possession?

3. Do I discard or stop using perfectly good items because they’re not the latest style or technology?

4. Do I confuse needs and wants?

5. Do I value and judge people based on material distinctions?

And ways to change:

1. Be aware of your benchmark and comparison points. If you’re looking up, work on changing that perspective so that you’re focusing—with humility and compassion—on those who have less than you do, not more. Savor the material things you enjoy, be grateful for them, and share what you have with those less fortunate.

2. Resist “parental peer pressure.” Many parents compare themselves to their peers just as their children do. If they can stand up to the pressure of seeing other parents giving their children material things and excessive “experience” (being involved with everything under the sun), they will cultivate less materialistic attitudes.

3. Realize there is a price to be paid for living the gospel, and some of it is financial. We tend to think we can have large families, pay tithing, keep up our food storage, make charitable contributions, and send children on missions without settling for a lower standard of living. “We have expectations based on an American standard of living that’s largely driven by smaller, two-income families. We want to replicate that standard of living on a single income and all these additional expenses,” says Carroll.

4. Refresh your gospel perspective about material possessions. Review the Savior’s teachings, such as his warning against covetousness in Luke 12:15, “for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.” Reread the Book of Mormon for its warnings about how the trappings of prosperity can destroy individual souls and entire nations.

One insight I hadn't thought of before is that he addresses the "experience consumer." This is the person who insists their children have violin lessons, martial arts training, and compete in soccer leagues. If we take this too far, we have another form of materialism--the experiences that money and resources can buy. Hmmm. Never thought about it like that.

A Fond Farewell to President Gordon B. Hinckley

2008-01-28T13:48:00.000-08:00

When I heard of the recent death of President Gordon B. Hinckley, I was filled with so many emotions. I will miss him, his wisdom and inspiration, his humor and love, his leadership. My heart is full of gratitude for the things I learned from him. However, I also know that he is enjoying the long-awaited reunion with his sweet wife. And can you imagine the welcome he is receiving right now? "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

In tribute to him, here are 5 ways he touched my life:

1. My Very Happy Marriage! When I was dating T, I found this quote by Pres. Hinckley in T's wallet: "I am satisfied that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion. Any man who will make his wife's comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and through eternity yet to come." Any wonder I married T? And I can say with a surety that T's following the counsel of the prophet has given us 8 1/2 glorious years together...with plenty more where that came from! (T still keeps that quote in his wallet.)

2. The document "Family: A Proclamation to the World". What a prophetic and much needed statement! There are so many times I've looked to that for direction and answers in this shifting world. I've also loved his talks about the preciousness of children. One of my favorites: “Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them. Fathers, control your tempers, now and in all the years to come. Mothers, control your voices; keep them down. Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts. They may do, in the years that come, some things you would not want them to do, but be patient, be patient. You have not failed as long as you have tried. Never forget that.”

3. The Perpetual Education Fund, providing loans for students in developing countries, who could otherwise not afford an education. Maybe in lieu of flowers, we could donate? Go to this website to donate.

4. Temples, Temples, Temples! In the 12 years he was President, the world went from having 50 temples, to now having 122 working temples, with more under construction! Because of his leadership on this front, I was able to attend the temple regularly in Spokane, and was blessed to work in the temple in St. Louis. Neither were there prior to 1995.

5. He was an unceasing witness of Jesus Christ! Whether on 60 Minutes or the Larry King show, whether it was by emphasizing the name of Jesus Christ in the Church logo or in creating the document The Living Christ with the other apostles. President Hinckley never let anyone doubt of His faith in our Savior!

Thank you President Gordon B. Hinckley!

I just LOVE topics that are TABOO!

2008-01-16T18:36:00.000-08:00

Don't people say that one should never bring up religion or politics in a social setting? I guess I'm just a rebel, because those taboo topics are my favorite!

Thanks, Jen, for sharing this very interesting article about Mormons and the election. What do you think? Is it on target or way off base?

"If you denigrate a racial group, you're racist.
If you denigrate women, you're sexist.
If you denigrate Mormons, you're hip."

Check out the complete article: http://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695242228,00.html

Now, on a less visceral, but very informative note, Mitt Romney gave a great interview on NPR today. I haven't made a decision about who I will vote for, but I was very impressed with this. Enjoy listening! It's well worth the 5 minutes. http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=2&t=4&islist=true&id=2&d=01-16-2008

My Daughter...The Potty Hero

2008-01-09T18:55:00.001-08:00

Gosh, I didn't think I was keen on bathroom humor, but sometimes sanity in mothering requires finding the humorous in all of our blessed experiences. I so set myself up in my last post about A. and 1st Grade. If you haven't read it, you'll need to read that one first. But if you have, here goes Part 2:

Day 2 of First Grade: I got a call from A's teacher that evening. She was concerned that A. might have been traumatized by the bathroom event earlier that day. A. hadn't mentioned anything to me at all, so I asked the teacher to fill me in. Apparently as A. was using the bathroom during school, she overheard some other girls talk about a TP roll floating in the toilet and how afraid they were that it would overflow. A. thought they were talking about her toilet and knew that she had to single-handedly save the school bathroom. She knew that if she got off the toilet that the automatic flusher would make the toilet go, and then overflow! So the hero that she is, she decided to stay put. She sent the girls to go tell their teacher. Of course the teacher comes in and is trying to figure this all it. "Is the water touching your bum?" No, but she's sure it will overflow if she gets off. The teacher can't get into the stall because it's locked and A. won't lean forward to unlock it because if she does the toilet will flush! A. suggested that the teacher call the school maintenance man, but the teacher didn't think that would be a good idea. Even with all kinds of persuasion, A. absolutely refused to get off. The teacher was about ready to crawl under the stall herself, but luckily a 2nd grader came in and agreed to crawl under and unlock the stall door. With her teacher there she decided to risk the automatic flusher and...Whew! No overflow! As A.'s teacher was telling this all to me, I was just busting up with laughter!! I could visualize it all and I was so glad I wasn't there!! But wasn't A. a hero?

Can't Stop Thinkin' About It

2008-01-07T18:52:00.000-08:00

I listened to the best talk on CD in November, and I still cannot stop thinking about it! It was so good. So if you get a chance, I highly recommend listening to "The Savior Heals Without a Scar" by Sheri Dew and Wendy Watson Nelson. Have any of you heard it? What were your thoughts?

My Daughter's First Week of 1st Grade

2008-01-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Avandra, who started her first day of 1st grade today! All the adults are ready for this to be a permanent change, but A. misses her Kindergarten friends and is less sure about this transition. So this week is a "practice week" with the intent that this will be a permanent move.

This week is going smoothly, but I'm reminded of a slightly less smooth entrance into Kindergarten in September. Shall we reminisce together?

1st Day- (Photo Shown at Left) I had horrific memories from the previous year of A. kicking and screaming as her preschool teacher bodily forced her into the classroom while she's still saying goodbye to me. So although I'm acting cool as I walk her to the bus stop, I'm gearing up for the big "FREAK OUT" at some point. But...the bus comes. A. gets on and waves goodbye. The bus drives away. WHAT??? How could I just let my little A. drive away from me like that? So OF COURSE, I quickly grabbed K and S and we ran to our house, I threw them in the van (but there really is no throwing kids in because there are all the straps and hooks of the car seats that have to get untangled at just such dire moments as these) , and followed A's bus to school. Luckily, she made it just fine. Whew!

2nd Day- You'd think the second day of school would go a lot smoother, right? You'd think. But as A was using the potty right before we had to leave, she calls out, "Mom, can you get me some toilet paper? We're out in here." Oh, no, I assure her. There's a huge pile of TP right on the floor under the TP holder, where Little Miss S had unrolled it all the day before. I just saw it earlier that moring. "No, Mom. There isn't any here anymore." Oh no...my brain starts whirring. Shad used the potty right before A. "S? Did you throw all that toilet paper into the toilet?" Why yes, she had. "Okay, A, whatever you do, DON'T flush the toilet when you're done, or else it will clog and overflow." Then I rush around putting K in the stroller and making sure S has her sandals and then I hear, "MOM! I FORGOT AND FLUSHED THE TOILET!!" I rush into the bathroom and lift her off of the toilet seat lid where she had scrambled for sanctuary and in the nick of time I stop the water in the tank from causing the toilet to overflow. Huge mess and BMs were definitely involved, but at least it all stayed in the toilet. Amazingly, we even made it to the bus on time. I tried to unclog the toilet all that day when I would get a free moment or two. No luck. So when T came home that evening, he took it to hand (or plunger as the case may be) as I got ready to head to Young Women's presidency meeting. I'm about ready to head out the door when I hear, "QUICK! GET SOME TOWELS!" "NOOOOO!" I scream and I dive into the bathroom to try to stop the water from leaving the tank, but it was too late. The previously mentioned bathroom mess was all over the floor. On the one hand, I was disgruntled that someone as smart as T didn't know how to stop the water from leaving the tank. On the other hand, I was late for my meeting, so sianara T! Have fun cleaning up the mess! But I did get him some towels before I left. T did say that my NOOOOO! may have caused him permanent hearing loss.

3rd and 4th day- I forgot to send the nutrition break snack and A got a bee sting!

Let's pray the transition to 1st grade goes better than the entrance into Kindergarten!!

FYI: Mormons ARE Christians

2007-12-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

With all the hullaballoo surrounding Mitt Romney's presidential bid, I have just been floored by the amount of ignorance out there about the beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! (Nickname: Mormons--I don't like to use that nickname because it never has been the name of our Church and never will be.) The lies are abundant, and the truths are usually skewed or pulled way out of context. Will you please do us all a favor? If you aren't a member of the Church and have questions or concerns, will you PLEASE go to the official Church sources to discover our beliefs? Or just ask a member outright? No one will be offended. It doesn't matter how strange your question might sound. Believe me, I've heard some good ones. By the way, the official Church source links are on the sidebar under "great websites".

There are only 3 more days until the Iowa primary. My brother works in Iowa and said that alot of people have said, "I was going to vote for Mitt Romney. But now that I have a Christian alternative...." Whether you decide to vote for Mitt Romney as President (not Pastor, by the way) is up to you. But let me assure you as a standard run-of-the-mill member of the "Mormon" Church that I know Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, the Savior of the World, and is my Savior personally. He is the conqueror of death and sin. I live for Christ and I would die for Christ so please don't insult me by saying that I'm not Christian.

Changing the World--Babies & Dove

2007-12-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

How have you changed the world today? My most recent bit of activism is that I spent yesterday doing cartwheels in the fresh powder and making snow angels with A, throwing snow and playing tag. Today I spent time with my children, read to them, got them all in bed and they still know I love them. Is that world-altering? Check out this great quote:

"When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother's heart, and she puts it into the baby's mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies." (E.T. Sullivan, quoted by President Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Dec. 2007, pg. 5-6.)

Two days ago I wrote a few letters--one to Dove of soap and lotion fame, and one to Reader's Digest. Here's what I wrote.

Dove Consumer Services
920 Sylvan Avenue
Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632

RE: Nude Advertisement

I was browsing through my January Reader’s Digest when my young daughter sat next to me so I could read her a story. I put down my magazine and we were both flashed by the nude Dove advertisement on the back. Horrified, I quickly turned the magazine over. I am very disappointed that Dove is stooping to nude advertising and I cannot support such an immodest campaign.

I understand that the Dove advertising campaign is an attempt to encourage and promote the courage and self-esteem of (older) women. In theory that sounds noble. However, the idea that posing nude is proof of confidence and self-esteem is fundamentally flawed. Nudity is not a measure of confidence. When you go to a board meeting, does the most confident of you come naked? Of course not! In my experience, the more confident a woman is, the less likely she feels that she has to “prove” anything by wearing revealing attire, or as in this case, nothing at all. A confident person dresses in a way that is appropriate for the occasion. And nudity in a magazine in my home is never appropriate.

I do not want my young daughters to grow up thinking they have to show their bodies in public to prove they have self-esteem. Modesty is not shame of ones body, it’s respect for one’s body. The model, Athena, is quoted as saying she’s never felt more powerful. The irony is that she looks nothing but vulnerable. How little self-respect she must have to sell out her body for something as trivial as a lotion advertisement.

I hope that you will stop your nude women advertising campaign. If I see another such advertisement, I will choose not to buy Dove products.

Sincerely,

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Here's the question of the day: Is it really a good thing when more women sell out their bodies? Dove's take is that all women are beautiful, regardless of age and shape. Sounds good, right? But do we really have to "prove" our beauty by baring all? Okay, you get my point. I think that's enough for now. Have a good night!